One day at a time...

Week 16...wow has time flown by!

2008-04-23T15:08:00.003-04:00

Well I am unsure how long this is going to be or even how often I will be blogging as of this past weekend. You see my computer is acting up and so I have to blog at the hotels...which feels weird to me. I keep looking over my shoulder at other people and they keep yawning. Am I ever going to get off they wonder? Really what is it that she is doing that could be more important than my million dollar deal e-mail I need to send out. To you MR. Suit, get a lap top. :) Okay that's mean but I really should keep it short.

Last week was good, nothing new to report. I am feeling like if I don't start setting some solid goals here I am going to be backsliding again. SO I need to set goals this week. I'll try and post them as soon as I can. The weekends are still really hard and I am so unsure about what to do to change that, my working out and eating well go right out the door on the weekends. So if there is progress in the week you just don't know it by the weekend. And so the circle goes. GURH. Help, ideas are VERY welcomed.

Okay I think my time limit is up I'll try and be back soon. Thanks guys for the sounding board that you all are. :)

Week 15...

2008-04-16T11:41:00.002-04:00

Well I had a very late night last night and I was to busy in the morning trying to get ready for my trip, mowing the yard etc... and I got in WAY to late last night to post. Better late than never right? And I do have good news! I am proud to say that I did not gain this week!! And in the same regards I did not lose any weight but I am very HAPPY. I am very content with this outcome. I did not have the very best weekend so not gaining is a very big deal for me. :) Hip-hip-hooray for me.

I also went to Costco and I found this awesome deal with a four pack of workout DVDs, Yoga and Pilates. I haven't tried them yet so I will let you know if they are worth it or not, but at $11.99 for four you can't go wrong. And the workout length is more what I was looking for so I am happy.

I've got to get ready for work and eat some lunch so I cannot blog much but I will try and do something tonight when I get back if I cannot sleep or tomorrow. :)

And yes I worked out today! Yea Me!!

Week 14 and counting...

2008-04-07T20:58:00.005-04:00

I am so happy about how I did last week. So happy in fact that I am going to give myself my first button!! A non-scale victory of my very own. So here is the proud button and let me explain why I think I deserve it. (well bloggerwon't let me add a picture, as soon as I can I will add the button!)

I might not of worked out every day, but I did what I could this week. And I did not kick myself for the bad things that I eat, I just watched what I had for other meals and snacks. I was very aware of doing little things that would add up, walking when I could, taking the stairs, drinking water instead of soda and such. And I was happy about doing those things, I wanted to do more. My biggest down fall is the weekends, I just need to come up with a game plan for them and then follow through with it. I'm off to a better start I just need to maybe kick it up a bit this next week to hopefully see a lose in my weight, or inches lost. I forgot to mention that last week I took my measurement and I am also going to keep track of that for those times when I don't lose pounds but gain muscle!

This week I am also going to order some workout DVDs from Collage Video. If you have never been to this web site and you like to workout to videos this is an amazing web site. http://www.collagevideo.com/main.aspx
It has the times broken down for each video so you can see how much of the time is actual workout time and of what kind of working out. Plus their staff has done all the videos themselves , so they know what each is like. And as if that was not enough they also let you try it out and return it if it's not for you. So I have done lots of research on the type of workout I want to do, something that has some cardio in it, (for those weekends when I am at home!) and I'd like it to have some strength type stuff as well. I found out that Jillian from Biggest Loser has a new DVD out with LOTS of good tings to say about it. Unlike her first DVD set which did not get good reviews, but I love her on Biggest Loser and I like that style of training. I need someone to yell at me and make me push harder. So I believe that I am going to get her new DVD set and see what happens. It' s two workouts roughly about 30 minutes each and it also has different levels of advancement. I'm really excited, I get paid on the 10th so that is my little gift to myself. I was also thinking about getting a yoga DVD but I am unsure of whether to get one that is to relax with or one to make me stronger and really work out my body. Any ideas out there? Anyways I will let you all know how the DVD is as soon as I get it. I am super looking forward to it.

As far as my goals for this week, I'm going to think about them today while I work and post them tonight or tomorrow. Have a GREAT week everyone!

Oh and I guess I should share some news... I lost 2 pounds this week. I know I should be happy and I am, I guess. But you see I have gained 6.5 pounds since I weighed in the first time for this challenge. I wasn't going to say anything but I felt I needed to be honest, so there it is. I'm really not counting it though...It's just embarrassing to have a gain so big. At least I lost right?

C25K is back!

2008-04-04T14:12:00.003-04:00

Well I am really proud of myself this week so far. I've worked out twice and I've had all my water so far AND the push/sit ups. :) I had forgotten how amazing that it feels after really working out hard, sweating and getting my heart rate up. It feels GREAT!!

I've started back on the C25K week 5. I've been doing week 4 for about ummm forever. So I thought I should try out the next week. Let me just tell you what the next weeks running plan is; day one, is three five minute runs: day two, is two eight minute runs: and day three is a 20 minute run. Whoa not ready for a 20 minute run yet. I mean am I? SO I think I am going to take this slower, maybe two runs of day one, day two and so on till I get to day three. Would you like to hear something scary? I think I am beginning to enjoy working out, running in particular. Weird I know, I'm still getting used to the idea myself. If only it would get to be the way where it was just a part of my life, like eating breakfast, going for a run.

I'm not sure how this weekend will be, bad I am sure a friend is having a b-day party and so I am sure I won't get my workout in. I still feel silly making it a big deal that I've got to go and work out to our little group of friends. At least till I am fit or more comfortable telling everyone what I am doing. Is anyone else out there not telling everyone what they are doing? I'm not sure why I am embarrassed, I'm sure they would all be supporting, maybe that's why I am nervous. They would see what I've tried to tell myself no one sees, my chubby thighs and belly. Am I really that lacking in self esteem? Chalk that up to yet another reason I am doing this. A big dose of self esteem, I need to love myself more. Or at least like and appreciate my body.

So here's to the weekend. I will really try and watch what I eat and drink (yeah right on that one) and walk or whatever as much as I can. I should of gotten up earlier this morning and done it then. Oh well. When it's raining I love being in the bed, snuggled up deep in my sheets. :) Perfect.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Week 13....

2008-04-01T22:47:00.003-04:00

Okay I'm back in the game. I had the break and it was really just what I needed.

I was just really feeling a lot of pressure to lose weight, to post good things every week, to get those buttons and I never really had my heart into it. Whether or not my mind was into it is yet to be decided. I really felt embarrassed that I am right back where I started two years ago. And that I even got that way to begin with! I am embarrassed that it's only 40 pounds! And I cannot get rid of it, I'm embarrassed that I am worried that I will not be able to lose weight. Silly isn't it? But I am worried that maybe I will never get to a happy weight. I am really scared of failing. And it's not just about weight that I have come to realize that I am sacred to fail at anything. But with losing weight it is souly on my own shoulders. No one else has anything to say about what I put into my own mouth or if I workout or not.It's completely up to me. It's really been holding me back in my life, a silly fear of failure. I just need to be more knowledgeable of that fact and ask for help. And not to sweat the small stuff!!

SO failure is NOT an option for me. I do know that there will be days when I don't do good at all and I just want to quit. The thing is to acknowledge that I had a bad day and go on. Which is why I named my blog as such "one day at a time" I just seemed to of forgotten. Oh and I am going to try my hardest to post everyday, it really does help to have you all. :) Thanks...

I am also going to make the next 14 weeks really count. I'm not going to live forever and I need to make what I do have the best possbile life ever. I don't want to have said well she eat good things...I want more out of life.

my own spring break

2008-03-25T20:20:00.002-04:00

Well I've decided to take the last week and this week off. Easter and Spring Break just did a number on me and I need some time to regroup. Get my head into the game again. I just am feeling so depressed about weight loss right now. Maybe it's spring around the corner, and with that swimsuit season? Winter blues?
I'll be reading your blogs though, that is my strength so maybe I'll be back sooner. I should have time this weekend to think. :)
Thanks for understanding and the support!

Cues from an Ostridge

2008-03-24T22:36:00.001-04:00

Sorry that I have been M.I.A. lately. I have been busy avoiding blogging to be honest. And I know this week will be just as bad so I am ducking my head into the sand and I'll be back next week. Tomorrow I'll update though. I promise.

WEEK THREE

2008-03-11T22:09:00.002-04:00

Well week THREE is upon me and I have yet to meet fully any of my goals. And yet I do not feel totally discouraged. If nothing else I feel more motivated this week, then before. Yes it's taking me longer than I thought it would be to get back into the swing of things, but at least it is on my mind and I am trying. So I do feel like I am making progress, even if it is at the slowest possible rate. One day at a time...
SO lets do a little re-cap of the past week. and my goals for it.

Cardio 5 times for 30 min, I did it 3 times for 30 min
Strength 3 times, I did it 1 time
Yoga 3 times, I did it 1 time
Push/Sit ups 5 times, I did it twice.

Not terrible but a step in the right direction. I do not think that these goals are too off base and I am going to leave them for this week as well. But I am going to add 5 minutes onto the cardio workouts. And I am going to add drinking water daily. I'm not sure how much I need to drink a day, I've heard 8 glasses but what really is 8 glasses? I just wanted to add something that would be good for me that didn't only involve working out.

I also took some sound advice from a blogger and am going to go more by measurements vs. actual weight loss. I think if I switch my focus I might be happier with my progress than purely the numbers on the scale. While I was thinking about this I remembered all my cute summer clothes that I have, tons and tons of capri's and cute sundresses that are just too tight, if I can even get them up at all! And I'm just going to work toward getting back into those, instead of worrying about the numbers. I just really am sick of thinking of myself in pounds I am more than just a number on the scale and I need to remember that.

So here's to a new week!

Workout Buddy

2008-03-08T21:43:00.003-05:00

I feel like I have found THE secret to working out hard. Shh promise to share with everyone you know? Okay good, here it goes, are you ready??? Work out with someone! I know world shaking stuff, okay so maybe it's not new news but like so many things that I have heard and read over and over it does help. Let me tell you why, I for the first time am flying with one girl "Ginger" ( her nickname from Gillian's Island aka the Movie Star) and I told her I needed to workout. So we made a pack, and so we help each other when we are on layovers to go and workout in the hotels gyms. No ifs, ands, or buts! Not only did we workout (yea me!) but it made me want to work out harder than she was, it was challenging to short of gauge yourself against someone else. And it's not social hour, we plug in our ipods and we go for it. Now I was a soul workout girl for at least the last 5 years, which is also when I put on a good bit of my weight. So just maybe does this little bit of info that we all hear is so good for us, to have someone to workout with really has it's merits. SO if you are a solo workout girl, give it a try. It could be a group class, the lady down the street, anyone! Really what do you have to lose but a few calories along the way?

Week 2 update

2008-03-05T15:53:00.005-05:00

Well better a day late than never. And so gos the bad news, I gained .5lbs. Am I surprised? No. Will it happen this next week? No. I didn't even make all my exercise goals, as you can tell with the weight gain. It might be a little bit to do with T.O.M as well...

SO this next week I believe my goals are as follows:

Workout 30 minutes 5 times

Do 3 strength training days

Do 3 yoga/pilate's
Do sit ups and push ups for 5 days
Lose 1.5 pounds

All is the same except the sit ups and push ups. Which I believe will be my March New Years Resolution. You see this year I decided to do something different as far as new years resolutions go, seeing how you always fail after January is over I decided that I would make a new N.Y.R. every month, and so far so good. It is much easier to think of only having to do this one thing for a month vs. all year long. And here is the kicker, after you do things for what is it 2 or 3 weeks it's a habit. So really this has been the best and easiest way so far to get my goals done. I'm going to just pick something new every month that I want to work on and give it a month, so for this month it is going to be 25 sit/push ups 5 days a week. If it's too hard or easy I'll adjust as necessary. So here it goes!

Test Results

2008-02-28T09:36:00.004-05:00

This is going to be a great day! My hubby has the day off work and school so he is coming to spend the day with me in good old Sarasota FL. Why can't it be warmer here?!? I am SOO almost ready for the warm spring weather to stay here for good. :) He's a sweetie.

And I got my results back!! Finally! She mailed me out a letter as well to better explain things but so far I am fine. :) BIG SMILES. However, I do need to watch my Saturated Fats to try to lower my cholesterol, as it stands right now it is 215. And she said it should never go over 200. So that's not too bad. As for my thyroid it is borderline so she wants me to come back in June or July just to check that out as well. It's been pretty lucky for me to have the time line go just so that my yearly was at the same time as I decided to change, for the last time! It really gives me a true starting point with my health and I see how I was eating and in general not taking care of myself has effected my body. It's more than just about losing weight, it truly is about getting healthy as well. And I want to be the model patient, I want to do all she says and see the changes take place. I want to WOW my doctor. She also wants me to take daily Vitamin D and a complex B shot. I just started taking Vitamin B I wonder if it is the same thing?? I feel like this is a real honest to goodness starting point for me. Beyond just getting my weight and going from there. Maybe it's the little bit of a challenge that goes along with it? I love a good challenge.

I'll try posting about how the day goes later. I just couldn't wait to share the news!

thank yous

2008-02-27T22:08:00.002-05:00

I am humbled by the response's that I have gotten over joining HYC08. I feel that I must admit that I have done poorly today, on the food and no exercise. To not blog and admit that I had a bad day I feel like I am hiding from what this challenge is about. I feel like I have my very own cheering crowd just for me, and I hate to let you down. Getting back on track is a little bit harder than I thought it would be. BUT tomorrow is a new day, there are no mistakes in it yet. (A quote from my favorite childhood books.)
Honestly I was shocked by the responses, this is definitely a group that I want to be a part of. Because I know somewhere out there in the world you all are dealing with the same issues that I am facing. And no one knows what it's like till they themselves try to get healthy to see what really goes along with it. The grass is never greener on the other side. It's how you grow and take care of your own grass that matters.

Thank you for the warm welcome and the encouragement. One bad day will not get me down.

p.s.
no word from the doc yet, I was told to expect a call back within 48 hours.

Week 1 of the challenge

2008-02-26T15:55:00.003-05:00

So I added a few okay more than a few pictures in the side bar of my page of things that are my inspiration. Maybe I put up to many but they are all things that I am losing for, along with self esteem, more confidence in myself, a better active lifestyle, all the things I wish I had more of right now. So enjoy, it will also help others see a little more about me and what I love.

As far as the results from my test, I called and am still waiting for a call back. I wonder if it would be rude to call back and see if I get the nurse this time around? I'm getting anxious....

As far as the challenge week goes it's the first day so we shall see how this week goes, I'm really upbeat about the whole thing so far. :) Wish me luck. I'll post again tonight with food and workout details.

LATER-----

Well I've been thinking about what my goals should be for this next week and here's what I've got so far.

To stay within my WW points
To do week 5 of Couch to 5K (I've been stuck on week 4 for a while now)
To get in 3 days of strength training
Do 4 days of yoga/pilates

so we'll see if it is too much or too little. :) But either way I need a button next week!

MONDAY....

2008-02-26T00:42:00.002-05:00

So I sign in with the challenge tomorrow...I'm ready I've had my crazy weekend full of everything that you say will be the last time you will eat this food. You all know what I am talking about. We all go on a last weekend (week, month, year) of eating whatever we want because the diet starts on Monday. Well It's not going to be Monday and it's not a diet. So I think I'm doing better already, and I get my blood results tomorrow from the doctor anyways. Perfect timing.
I've got to get some form of sleep tonight, I've got a busy day tomorrow. :)

Hello Bloggers!

2008-02-21T14:07:00.001-05:00

Well I do believe that I am back in the blogging world once again. The thing is that I wanted to come back when I was all gun ho and ready to lose some weight again. However I’ve been unable to get myself motivated enough to really give it a try that lasts longer than what four days? That’s when I came to the conclusion that that’s why I needed to come back even more than before. I need the support that blogging brings. It’s a community out there of people that support and understand you no matter how much it is that you have to lose, in the end a pound is a pound. And it is just as hard to lose no matter how many you’ve got.
So I’ve been searching and I stumbled across a “Challenge 08” and I believe that this is just what I need. It’s perfect it is just what I need to combine accountability with support from other bloggers. SO I will start once my name is added which should be Tuesday? I’ll have to read her blog again. That will give me time to come up with my own game plan again. You know how much I am going to work out and what the food plan will be…duh WW (that’s the best way for me, I know it works).
I am going to set up a mini 6 month goal, you see I went to the Doctor for my yearly check up and I am healthy BUT she is worried about my cholesterol level and my thyroid. So I will know in a week the results of the tests, if the results are bad then I want a good six months to really work on it myself. I really do not like taking medication. And truthfully if I had an under active thyroid then it’s my fault for not taking better care of myself and working out. I got my body this way I’d like to change it as well. And if nothing changes then the meds it is, of course this is a worst case result. And of course I would ask the Doctor if it was okay as well, after all she went to school for this right? She knows more than me. ;~)
You know something else when I asked her about how much she thought I should lose to be at a healthy weight she said 20 pounds. My WW goal was 118, and to be told that I should be 148. Well that’s a BIG difference. I just wrapped my mind so much around numbers and around what the scale said that I think I got SO out of tune with my own body. I’m going to do what she said and try lose the 20 pounds. We’ll see what she says then and how I feel. It’s just half of what I thought I needed and wanted to lose. And I still am having a hard time with the weight. I just need to get there and see for myself.

Happy New Year?!

2008-01-18T14:12:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year everyone!

I'll be back posting soon, I've just been doing a lot of thinking and I've just needed a break.
So I'll be here soon...:)

A Perfect Weekend

2007-11-20T10:43:00.000-05:00

I had a wonderful weekend, a clam slow paced weekend. We went to a Doc Watson concert, and I was amazed! I really wasn't sure if I would like it, he's REAL bluegrass/country. But it was shocking, he is 84 years old and he is still touring and playing the guitar like it's no ones business. And did I mention that it's just him the guitar and his voice? He had his grandsons come out and play a few songs with him but for the most part that is it. It was a cold night, and we walked to the theater, past blocks and blocks of some of the most beautiful houses I've ever seen. I'm really in love with the old craftsmen look and that's for the most part what they were. And the crunching of the fall leafs on the sidewalk as we walked. It was perfect. I've never had any of this were I grew up. No sidewalks, no neighbors, nothing. I just feel so lucky. So then we spent the night at J's, woke up and watched football, and I got to drive around the neighborhood some and see things (yes it was still amazing!) in the fall colors at day time. And then we went home, hung out with each other, I love the hubby. And then the next day we had a wonderful round of golf with J and his brother and the hubby and me. I am still in much need of improvement. But again it was a WONDERFUL day with lots of color and good talks and everyone played well. We had dinner and drove to J's house he played the guitar and sang while I kicked the hubby's butt in poker. Ahh the good times. It was nice to just have a fun packed but very chill weekend. And for me this is all new things and this is my life now. It's pretty great.

It's kinda like I am avoiding the weight talk. Well I am. I think it is very clear that I cannot just think about sticking with the WW plan. I'm thinking about re-joining. I need to be very clear about what I am eating and how much points are gone or left. I even bought a notebook to track myself and I haven't. I did say I would give myself two months. So I just need to try harder. I also have decided that I am going to do a run. It's the 5k/10k Shamrock N' Roll here in Atlanta. My goal is to run in under 30 minutes. So I've got a lot of room for improvement. And my reward would be a running skirt and a cute top to run in. Maybe a green wig? This could be really fun! And it's something real to work toward. Which is what I think I need. An obtainable goal that I can see and feel.

Later in the day....

So I worked out...I ran/walked 2 miles in 26 minutes. 13 minute miles is not so bad, but when you think that I really could of pushed myself but didn't. I am disappointed in myself, but pleased that at least I can run/walk 2 miles. As sad as that sounds I know. Little joys, little steps.

Living Apart

2007-11-15T19:23:00.000-05:00

There was an article in November’s issue of SELF that I found really interesting and it’s something that I have really been thinking about.

It was called “The Joy of Living Apart”. For some couples, a little distance is the key to closeness.

It sounded like something that I would enjoy after all I am gone A LOT with my job and yet strangely enough it has brought us closer. Our situation is unique in our circle of friends and it makes me feel like the odd man sometimes. For those that don’t know being a Flight Attendant I am gone three to four nights a week, sometimes more. So I get all excited and buy the magazine before one of my flights and after snack & drink service I get my 1 liter bottle of unsweet tea and get ready to be inspired about another couples challenges. Well it wasn’t what I thought it was going to be. It’s about one couple (the author & her hubby) and the fact that they do not live together and have two kids and are madly in love. Yep I did say all that in one shot. They live in New York both have amazing apartments and their own lives. There are yin and yang, black & white, summer & fall….get it? And then when she had the boys they still didn’t move in, it all sounded really weird to me. I mean he did spend 3 to 4 nights with her and he was home every night for dinner and left when the boys were sleeping. So it’s not like he wasn’t around. It was just something SO different that what I’ve ever heard of. Why wouldn’t you want to spend every waking moment with the one you love that much? What about waking up with them in the morning? Or watching them sleep? Or the bad times even… Then I thought about it. That’s how we live, that’s how much time I have with my own hubby. And honestly I do really well with things when I am on the road vs. at home. Let’s see, I have a routine down when I am gone, down to what I eat, how I get ready, general taking care of myself, I work out (sometimes!). And one thing that really is great is that when I go out into the towns we stay at I get to explore things at my own pace and things that I enjoy. The more I thought about it the more I was just like her, I like having my own time, my own space I guess you could call it. I had to put the magazine down for a minute; this is not me is it? Then I started thinking about the future, what is going to happen when I have babies? Will I be able to stay at home? Will I be able to bring that side of me into our home? Will I want to live in separate homes? (No way!) Will I get bored? Yikes that’s a lot of ‘will I’s?’ I’m really new at all this independent stuff and I love it, but it’s finding that balance of independence and neediness because in case you don’t know when it comes to the hubby I play the needy card. I like to be babied. Ugh.
So the short end of the story is that I did relate to her, even when I thought it was something odd. I think everyone has a part of them that wants things their own way, but all people have different ways of relating that need with each other. And maybe this time away that I get will teach me to be a better person to myself with the husband and in turn it will make me a better wife and mother (again…one day). Because that is something I do really believe in, moms need something to call their own. They need “me” time in order to be the best that they could be. I guess I am just in the training wheel stages, I thought I couldn’t go a night without the love of my life, but it’s kind of nice sometimes just going to bed when I want. Hee-hee. Now I really need to slowly start applying the way I live out on trips into the way I live at home.
Who says that you can’t learn things from magazines?

Food for Thought

2007-11-12T21:46:00.000-05:00

I’d like to say that I have lost another half of a pound! Which is one whole pound gone forever. And it is not going to show its face on this body again. As much as I want to be posting big numbers if this is what I need to do to meet my goals and it takes me a year or more, well then that’s my way.

I worked out today and it’s always amazes me how good it feels to sweat. Okay so the sad news about this working out today is that I worked out on the elliptical machine for one hour. Which is really good for me, I normally give up after half an hour. But I only made it 4.5 miles. In one hour. That’s not good time. I think I am going to make that one of the goals for myself. I’d like to be able to run/work the elliptical for 10 minute miles. I’m not sure what machine is harder but I think it’s a lofty goal that is obtainable. And I could of pushed my self more but I didn’t I was just trying to last for the hour. Let’s see 4.5 are about what 1.something miles for every 15 minutes? All I have to do is shave off 5 minutes. After writing that out I know what’s harder, running. At least right now I will keep that same goal for running. I’m ready let’s get this started!

I have been debating over how and even if I wanted to share this and I think that it help me at least to know what’s going on in my head and what’s going on with the weight issue.

Last Friday night I went out to dinner with my hubby and his brother & a close friend. To set the stage I was the week before TOM and I’ve worked for over a week and a half with one day off. I was tired and grumpy. The hubby and I spent the day together and then we went to hang out at his brother’s place in the city. Oh and all we had to eat the whole day was breakfast, eggs and toast. We planned on just hanging out in the apt and getting a pizza or something so I was dressed comfy like, not going out like. And they decided to go out. We get to the Mexican place, order and get our food pretty fast. (Mind you I am feeling pretty out of place with everyone dressed well, but me.) You know how big the plates of food are, I eat almost everything on the plate and I don’t even want to know how fast. I’ve never felt that way before, when my hubby noticed I eat everything I jumped down his back, he told me not to get so defensive. And then the friend said yeah I noticed you didn’t have much to say throughout dinner. I’ve never had that feeling inside of me before. Yes I turn to food to feel better and yeah I probably did have a right to be famished but it was unlike anything I’ve ever done. And the food did not make me forget about the fact that I was not dressed as I would have liked, it didn’t fix the weirdness from hanging out with the friend (untold story that I will not get into). I still felt the same toward those things and worse as a person. I cannot have food be running my life like that; I never want to feel those emotions that I felt. Embarrassed is the nicest way of putting it, mortified, humiliated, self-conscious…all words that only help to describe what I felt. Maybe this will help others face their eating problem, I never thought I had an eating problem and maybe I don’t but if I don’t then I am right up there on the fence swinging my legs over the side. Food is intended for us to live, not for us to live for food.

I’m in this to get healthy, to live a long life, to give my kids (when I have them) a long healthy life as well.

Black nails

2007-11-07T19:55:00.000-05:00

So I tried the trend, I did. Maybe a little late but that's just how I was feeling about the color of paint on my finger nails. I am a french tip kinda girl, no real color, so black well it took me a while. And I can't say I am yet a fan. I wish I had my camera so I could show them to you. I'm just not sure...I think I have already smudged one, two, three...yeah three nails. Huh...

SO I've been thinking about joining Weight Watchers again, I feel like that is the one way that I really lose the weight. But I really do not want to spend all that money again. I don't know what to do...What if I just made a deal and I try to count up all my points for the next two months, and if I do good then I keep doing it, however if I need help then I will re-join. I feel like I am not eating enough veggies and meat. And I still need to work out...and make it more of something of an excape from life. A place to think... We'll see how good I can do when I get home. Since that is my weak spot. Home=Husband=Boose.

I wish I had more to say....... Sorry for the dull post..... I just wanted to get out there.

Smiles to ya'll!

Skinny Latte Girl where are you?!?

2007-11-06T14:15:00.000-05:00

I have something to admit to… I read tons of blogs and I am always exploring new sites and reading about peoples stories. But I hardly ever leave comments. I’m not really sure why, I think I feel silly after reading about their personal life, and then commenting as if I new them…It feels a little weird to me. That being said, there is one blog in particular that I love. I found her blog pretty much on a day like today, I got done with work early so I am at the hotel all day, there’s nothing on TV worth spending my time on so I am on the web a lot (at least when it’s raining and I cannot go outside!). I really have no idea how I found her page but I read the latest post and I knew that she had a story to tell. And I had to know it, so I started reading the oldest posts first so I could get the whole story. And it was so good, not only was she an amazing writer I felt like I knew her and was right there with her as she was losing weight. She always had good insight, was encouraging, and she made it. She did it. And that’s all I know. Her blog site was down and hasn’t come back up. I feel like I am in the middle of an amazing novel and I have no idea how it ends. Does she get to travel? How does she maintain the weight loss? Has she? My hubby as dear as he is didn’t understand my freaking out when I couldn’t get her site up. The thing that is really sad is that I never let her know I was a reader, I never told her that she is my inspiration this time around. I wish I could tell her that…and maybe she has copies of her blog?!?! If anyone out there knows Skinny Latte Girl…please let me know how I can get in touch with her. I feel like I lost a friend. It also made me realize that I need to tell people that affect my life how grateful I am. And let those out there whose blogs I read know that I read them and am very thankful for them. Lesson learned.

As far as the past week went it was okay, I did lose half a pound. Which is weight gone. But I know I can do better. I had a bad day as far as food; well it was really the drinking that did it. We went to a Ban Harper concert and things got pretty crazy. And then we went out afterwards to the bars…oh dear. It was at the FOX Theater in Atlanta and the theater was out of this world! I’ve never seen anything like it before; it looks like something out of the Egyptian times. The roof was even painted to look like the night sky, complete with lights as stars. My camera had broken on the way over other wise I would post pictures of the night. Maybe it’s a good thing after how crazy it got. Those boys need to get the drinking under control! We aren’t in college anymore. But it was a FUN night. It’s really great to do things with couples. I feel like I am playing grown up sometimes, hanging out in the city going to the theater. I’m living the life I thought I would live once I lost weight, funny huh? I just could be happier in my own skin when I lose the weight, and I could be wearing cutier things.

Well I should take my nap (I got up REALLY early) and then go to the hotel gym…they also have a suanna…nothing sounds better to me right now.

Have a good day everyone! And if you are in New York right now, is it really snowing? Is that snow I see?

Clean the slate...

2007-11-02T00:06:00.000-04:00

Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Susie; I lost 20 pounds with Weight Watchers last fall. And then I gained back 12 pounds this summer. If you were to look in the Dictionary under yo-yo dieter, my face is the one that you would see. And my past posts would be what you would read.
But do you know what the best part about a yo-yo is? You can wrap the yo-yo back up and the put it down on the shelf. And stop the madness. It’s really that simple. And maybe just maybe this will be my time.
SO I am back, slowly and one meal, one snack, and one day at a time. And slowly the semi good days will be better and then they will great days, which will turn into weeks, and then yep months and onto years. It kills me to think about how far I had gone and I just turned around and went back to the old me. I couldn’t say NO. If I could have stuck with it I would be at my goal weight buying new winter clothes. Not wondering what I am going to wear when it gets colder.
When I was 16 I was probably slightly over weight. But I was confident in myself, and I liked who I was, even if I thought then that I needed to lose 20 pounds. What happened to that girl? When I moved I didn’t know anyone, and I was VERY lonely. And as I have learned when I get lonely I eat. And I did and I gained 25 pounds! And I became someone I didn’t know, someone that wasn’t me. I like to do new things and do crazy things. My husband lives a full life everyday and attacks everything 110% with whatever he is faced with. I was there once right along side him, now I lag behind and worry about what I look like, if I could really do it, could I hold my weight, could it hold me? These questions all go through my mind. I miss me. I’ve read from other weight lose bloggers out there about the confidence and strength that they found as they lost weight. I’m looking forward to seeing how strong I can be, and what it will take of me to get healthy for good. And everything that I will learn about myself on the way, it’s going to be a long road. It didn’t take 6 months to put on the weight on; it’s defiantly not going to be that easy to take it off. I have to re-train myself about the way that I think about me, life, food, and what really matters. It’s a self discovery road. If you ever looked out the window on a plane 30,000 ft above ground, you’d see millions of roads, trails, paths all leading to somewhere. I just have to find the one that leads me to me again.
I’m not feeling sorry for myself any more. This is the time.
Thanks for being the ear. Goodnight all.

FOUR WEEKS START NOW!

2007-07-17T15:01:00.000-04:00

SO I know that it has yet been a while since my last post. I've been reading alot of new blogs out there, I've just really felt bad about my lack of strength to keep going with trying to run and losing weight. Till I stepped on the scale. I've gained so much of the weight back. And that is just not okay. I am can do better than that. I am better than that. I've decided to do it again. But this time break it down in easy steps. And so I am going to look at this as 30 days of doing it right, then I get to go CRAZY. For a day, that day being my birthday. Okay so it is really less than 30 days, but it's close enough. Four weeks, if you would like to look at it that way. Four weeks to eat right, workout and really try to lose 11 pounds. 2 pounds a week would be 8lbs, but I would like to try and push myself a little harder. Then I'll set a new goal after that day. I know I can do this, so far so good today, I'll be posting my points daily as well as logging them down. It seems to help. :) Keep me going I need help!

I went over a bit...I'm trying not to use the weekly but for really GOOD things, but I couldn't help myself. Does any one have any idea how many activity points I should be trying to get daily to really get the most from the program?

Points:
Daily Allowed 22; used 22
Activity Points 4; used 4
Weekly Points 35; used 2
Total---28 points.

Priceless?

2007-06-27T19:39:00.000-04:00

I guess more people do bathing suit shopping months ago. I was still hopping for a radical weight loss, in the crazy chance that I would of actually stuck with the plan. Oh well, Life Happens. The dear hubbie of mine and I are going to Destin Fl, for the 4th of July fun-n-sun weekend getaway with two other couples. (i know, i know, they are people! great step forward for me) I just couldn't go to the beach in my old black "swimmers swim suit". And so I shopped and shopped and shopped.

Let's break it down...

Swimsuit $69.00
Capri's to go with swimsuit $14.95
Flip-Flops to wear at the beach with Capri's $6.95
Pretty New Dress to go out to dinner in $27.99
Earrings to go with new dress $6.95
Necklace that goes with earrings $6.95

And for kicks, Work Shoes $14.99

Total with Tax: Priceless?? What are you paying for me?
$158.13
It was a day just like my favorite Master Card Add. You know the one where the girls gets her toes done and then the shoes and then the dress and of course ends up at Tiffany's. I think mine was more of a need to feel better after trying on swimsuits. I have not spent that much money at one time in a VERY long time. That's a Kate Spade bag I could of bought! And then I have to tell the dear hubbie. So far he knows about the work shoes and the swimsuit. UGH. I guess I will find out if I returned any of these things or not.
I can't help but think... WHAT WOULD DAVE RAMSEY THINK?
But the good news is that I was power shopping walking as fast as I could and the mall was about 2 miles away, as if that wasn't enough I also didn't eat a single thing at the food court. And I wasn't swayed by the good smells of Auntie Annes...ahhhh. Way to many points for me thank you!

People?? where??? RUN for your life!!!!!

2007-06-25T15:12:00.000-04:00

Why lately am I developing this fear of people? Not so much a fear but I would rather be ANY where but there with people. I would rather be at home watching a movie even doing laundry over hanging out. And I was not like that before, it would always make me a little nervous to meet new people but I would be able to hide that and come off really confident and interact with others well. But lately I've been really freaking out when my husband wants to go out and hang out with friends. May I say I've been a royal bitch to him most of the time? I always end up saying sorry the next day because I feel bad, I over reacted and then I need to apologize for the way I acted. Mostly to him. And It's not like I don't at least know two of the people of the group that's always there. So it's not like he is asking me to hang out with strangers all the time. And it really hurts him, and it's not me. It's not who I am, I get grumpy about it and just sit there. I don't try to talk to others it's like I get a chip on my shoulder of who I am, and I don't have anything in common with this people. Not that I am better than them, it's just they are not someone I would be best friends with so I don't really bother to talk at all. And I don't get out there and do things either, at the latest party there was horse shoes and I didn't play but once and yes I was pouting the whole time. When it should of been silly and fun. And normally I would of laughed and had a ball. At this time I was drinking too, so that should of loosened the belt a little right? It's as if I lost my confidence of being around people. Not good, whatever happened to just live life and laugh and have a good time? And truthfully it's been happening more around T.O.M. which is unusual because again that is not like me. Maybe I am having a little bit of unbalanced hormones?
At least I feel better talking about it...with whoever wants to read about it. Which is funny when you think about everything I just wrote. But face to face is much different trust me.
I'm trying to get back into the real swing of things, with eating and such. I was doing well, but the weekends are always the worst. But hopefully there will be a change on the scale this week. I am really trying to get into better shape for my birthday in August, I am turning 26 and that means only 4 years left till I am 30. And I still have yet to be in the best shape of my life. I've also read that your metabolism slows down starting at 25 and gets slower year by year. I need to make this change for good now. Before it gets just that much harder to do. :)

I love the River!

2007-06-11T15:20:00.000-04:00

If you've been by my blog in the past two weeks or so you would see that I added a new tool on my page by Traineo. And you would've also seen that the weight loss had not changed one little bit. Well I have lost 5 pounds. :) And it feels good. I was really worried seeing how I was on Vacation and all but it was an active week. We went Kayaking three times for about 2 1/2 hours each day. And then we did a lot of swimming and honestly a lot of just being lazy! With all that stuff we were doing I didn't have much time for munching on the junk food and plain over eating. Let's just keep planing on that little trick to keep on going.

But really I know I keep talking about how much I love Kayaking and get ready cause I just have to talk about how much I love it again. It's even better the more you go, it gets to be more challenging and I learned that there is a difference in "kayaking" and "paddling". Anyone can float down a river, if you can paddle you do what you want with the water. And that is my goal. To not just go with the flow but to make it work for me, to play in the surf, to roll under the water... To be better than I can be.

Yes I am going to run today...I'll let you know how it went. I've got lots of un-packing and cleaning to do before I fly out again. :)

another day bites the dust

2007-06-04T22:14:00.000-04:00

I should learn to take my own advice one day. I was set on restarting everything today. And well sleep and the tonics from the night before. (so I am still drinking...) But as I got ready for the day I weighed in, and yes a gain that really freaked me out. And I thought oh it's just this silly old scale. Then I put on my shorts, nope it's not a lie. I can tell in how my clothes fit, I did gain.

Back to the beginning, in the only way I lost weight. Good Old Weight Watchers. This week is Vacation for me and the Hubie, but we will be spending it at the lake with lots of Kayaking in the view... but still... Gosh it is just so hard sometimes.

Any and all tips are welcome.

I am thinking I need to really join a race, as in pay for it and mark it on my list. Maybe then I will get going if there is a "real" goal at the end of it all. I'm still hoping for the Disney Half this Jan. We shall see...is it still open for new people?

Garden Partys

2007-06-03T19:57:00.000-04:00

It just so happens that tomorrow is Monday, other wise I would not comment to working out for the dreaded, I'll start on Monday thing. but really, I had an amazing weekend we went to a true Garden Party. A page out of In Styles Party page. Amazing. And we had such a great time. It was cool to step into the other world for a night.
But in the end I just wanna be me, I wanna run a half-marathon and Kayak down this river and really just enough life as much as I can. And of course there's a need to lose weight, since when is a female ever okay with how her body looks? Or how fast it works in regards to how I need it to perform. Endurance is the one of the keys for me at this point. :)
So I am going to get up run, drink my coffee eat my breakfast and have an amazing start of a day. I know that I can do a half and a full Marathon one day. It's all in how hard I try to get myself there. Just how bad do I want this?

P.S. Does anyone have a hard time getting along with a sister-in-law? Any advice???

N.O.C.

2007-05-28T23:18:00.001-04:00

What is the NOC you ask? My new favorite playpen. It's called the Nantahala Outdoor Center.
http://www.noc.com/

Who knew that such a place could be right around the corner? I've heard about it before and I even drove up there once with the husband before he was the Husband. And yes I have rafted with a group down a part of the Colorado River and a River in Cali...(Not too sure about the name.) And I have tried to Kayak before. And really that is probably why it has been so long since I have tried, something about going in circles in the water the whole time will do that to you. I mean come on it's a little boat. It's not that big how hard could it really be just to go straight? I used to make a wooden sale boat go straight in the water as a eight year old. I would even win sometimes. I felt like it was simply something I could never do with out seriously hard work and dedication. Which could take the fun out of it.
So somehow my dear husband and his parents talked me into it and I really felt like I could try again, and something about a promise of a bigger boat than a Kayak, also called a Duckie. Laugh as you will, this boat rocked though! And I don't believe I really knew what it was all about. Paddle-Get Wet-Paddle-Float Along-Paddle- Pretty much sums up what I thought it was going to be. And it was but on a much higher point because it's one of those things that you just have to do to really understand.
We get there and my husband runs around trying to find some of his brothers friends that just happened to be up there as well. Small world. :) I love the excitement that is at the end of the river. People just coming off the river all wet and sweaty with HUGE smiles on their faces. You felt ready for it just by watching them pumped by what they just accomplished.
I had to watch a video about the safe way to fall in the water, what could happen if you don't do what they show in the tape, & what if you fall out of the boat. It's like being back in Drivers Ed. Very gripping stuff there. :~)
After that we all packed into the blue school buses, and yes I do think that all the COOL older folks grabbed the back seats. Just like High School days of old. We finally get to the top of the river (it's weird but there is a huge difference in the start of a river...also called a creek.) and unloaded the boats got our vests off and into the cold water we went. This is so not a big deal I thought and then I went down the river. Okay well the water really is the coldest thing ever. Shockingly cold as in will take your breath away. And you really ride the water. I know it's called Kayaking for a reason, but it's like running on water. So the part of the river we did is about 8 miles long and took us 2 1/2 hours I am guessing? We stopped at this River Bar-B-Que Shack and grabbed a snack got warm and got going again. There was also a sweet Pizza Place as well, I'm telling you this is in the middle of no-where land. I love the life of the river guides, after my first trip down in a big boat I thought I could do this forever. Then I went down this time in a Duckie and I am dieing to get better so I can move up to the real deal kayaking. My arms are aching and my back is a little sore but it's well worth it. Something about it clicked with me, I got it. I love being in the wilderness as it is and now I have found another way to enjoy the water.
I wish I could better describe the way the water felt or the power I felt in my arms when I would cut through the water. Or just being around people doing something amazing and there is this unspoken bond, like a brotherhood while you are on the river. There are no labels or people to please, no cell phones, faxes, deadlines, just the river. The thing that really brought this to mind was when at the end of the river there is a class 3 rapids. Not TOO big but big for a first timer. I went down the wrong way and thought I was going to go over into the water, but somehow I pulled through and made it, only to look back and see my Father-in-law had flipped his boat. People rushed around one helping him the others paddled to get his boat, then off they went. After a round cheers and good luck next time up there. I love when people can be like that with each other.

My wish list of "TOYS" just got longer,
ADD: 1 Kayak
ADD: 1 Life Vest
ADD: all the trimmings for the kayak

This is going to be an amazing summer!

Early mornings...

2007-05-17T12:26:00.000-04:00

It's amazing how you feel when everything just works out right. When you start the day off right and eat well, and get in an amazing run! What a day already! And I will need it for all the places I am going to be flying to today. Whoa.

I've decided to up the level of my treadmill runs in hopes that it will help make me run stronger on the outside runs. And I have also added weight training to the mix. And I am also going to stop drinking for a while! No...not that.... Yes I do believe I need to cut back for a while. As sad as it is I think it is really effecting me in a couple of ways.

Not wanting to get up in the morning
Slowing down my metabolism
Money!
Un-needed sugar

Those are just a few and I think enough. The mornings are one of my favorite times of day but even when I have just one drink I just feel groggy, and the last thing on my mind is getting up to run. It's starting to get hotter here in Atlanta so I like to run in the cooler mornings. And it is just the right time to recharge for me.

We shall see how it goes. With it being Baseball Season (GO BRAVES) it makes it that much harder not to have a beer and watch the game. Yep...think goals, think goals!

2007-05-02T19:05:00.000-04:00

I had a wonderful weekend! And I even have the blisters on my heels to prove it!
This was the yearly Family Hike up Le Conte Mnt. in TN. weekend. And it was wonderful. However the weather didn't hold up as well as we had hoped. The hike up was cloudy and the higher we got the worse it got. It is one of the highest points this side of the Mississippi, so you can just guess what it was like hiking up in the clouds. And yes it even snowed/rained on us. But you know we didn't get to take pictures, and see the view. However the plus was because we didn't see the view we BOOKED it up that mountain. And had our best time yet. And the cool weather. It felt SO good. Sometimes things work out for the better. The hike down was cool and sunny and last year my husband basically ran down the mountain, I was walking a ways behind...not this year. I was running, and you know what it felt GREAT. It was a combo of two things I really enjoy, hiking and running. It makes me think about maybe a future in Trail Running? I know that it's hard core, but I really enjoyed trying to keep your balance while running down a very steep mountain side. And then the next day, the leg muscles hurt like hell. But in that good hell way. :) Like yeah, I hiked and ran this mountain. I love being in the mountains anyways...makes me want to run even that much more now. :)
Well I wanted to leave some pictures of the Mountain, but I'll have to post some of last year dew to the weather. So here you go....Okay having tech problem with posting pictures...so I will get them up some time.

Flight 643---BOS/BWI

2007-04-17T08:32:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to share with ya'll something really exciting for me...yes even more exciting than running the Boston Marathon. :) (see post below)
I had the great pleasure of having at least 25 (or more if they changed out of their running gear) Boston Marathoners on my flight last night. What an amazing sight. And it was truly the best flight of the day. Runners are good people and they keep their heads on when they fly...And yeah most were passed out looking slightly uncomfortable folded up into what we call COACH seating. But never the less they all were proud and those that didn't run that where with those who did where rightly proud of them, sharing their times ect... It was like being apart of a blog...but actually getting to meet them all face to face. They were old, young, (really young a 16 year old ran most of the race with his dad) some didn't speak a lick of English but knew what thumbs up and a huge smile meant. It was a beautiful thing. Having never actually been a part of a race I can only guess and hope that it was like our plane ride last night. And I have a new goal for myself. Boston is one of my favorite places to go, and so ONE day I want to run that Marathon. One Day.

A few words for those of you one Flight 643 last night from Boston... You all are amazing and thank you for letting me ask and ask questions when I know you wanted to sleep. :) And to the man that said it was a walk in the park...yeah I'll see about that one day.

Boston Marathon

2007-04-16T14:37:00.000-04:00

I ran the Boston Marathon today! Well I ran along with them, the leaders that is. :) Yeah maybe I was on the treadmill but it counts a little doesn't it? No? Oh well it was worth a shot.
Somehow I was unaware of the fact that today was the grand Boston Marathon. So to my surprise when I got on the treadmill and flipped on the TV (yeah it's one of those mill's that have their own TVs, super cool) and there they were running their hearts out in really BAD weather condition's. It makes me jealous in a good way for their strength, so I ran hard, with more of an incline then normal. And it felt good. And it was really just amazing to watch! Maybe I will be there one day.

So after I ran I went to lift weights. I think I can up how many sets I do. Because once I was warmed up from the run the weights felt good.

It feels good to be back into the swing of things...one day closer to total health.

thoughts...

2007-04-12T20:21:00.000-04:00

I hate feeling like the only time I blog any more is when I am really down on myself. There is so much good going on in my life that it seems silly to be so blue about a few bad things. And those few bad things I am trying to get a better view point on them. I've been thinking a lot about death lately and what things would I be sorry I missed out on, and what I think others would say about me. What kind of person I would be remembered as. Just in life in general I guess, we have such a short time here on earth what do I really want to spend my time doing? I need to figure that out then figure out how to get there. Just some random thoughts that I've been running about in my head while flying...

The meaning of the word ASHAMED

2007-03-28T21:11:00.000-04:00

a·shamed (ə-shāmd') adj.

1.Feeling shame or guilt:
2.Feeling inferior, inadequate, or embarrassed: .
3.Reluctant through fear of humiliation or shame:

[Middle English, from Old English āsceamod, past participle of āsceamian, to feel shame : ā-, intensive pref. + sceamian, to feel shame.]ashamedly a·sham'ed·ly (ə-shā'mĭd-lē) adj.

I am ashamed.

Ashamed that for some reason I eat junk and think it's okay I'll be good tomorrow. And tomorrow comes and goes and I am still not eating right.

Ashamed that I'd rather sleep then workout. Day after day.

Ashamed that I feel like I have not only let readers down, but my sisters and most importantly myself, over my lack of comitment.

Ashamed that yes this just might be another year of the ugly black swimsuit. And pink boardshorts.

Ashamed that I fell in love with running and have let running down.

Ashamed that I have yet again failed on a diet...even if I called it a life style change.

Running vs. Walking

2007-03-09T17:35:00.000-05:00

So the first race on my list has come and gone. And I did not run. Nope. Not me. I don't know why sticking with running is such a hard thing for me. Maybe it will get easier once it warms up! I am also getting to realize that maybe running is not for me. WHAT??? GASP! Let me explain, running is hard for me in the fact that I am overly blessed in the ummm can I say the upper region of my body?! And that hurts, the bouncing. All I need is a really good bra I know, but I hate buying new clothes with losing weight. It seems like a waste of $50 to $65 bucks to me. But then I remember what it did feel like to run and maybe it is for me. Maybe I'm just not a every-weekend-running-in-a-race-wearing-running-tights-type of girl. Not yet anyway. I am trying to be more open with the possibilities that are out there. I still am going to am for running the Disney Marathon and we see about the Nike Women Half-Marathon. I think I might of been trying to get to the finish line the race before it has even really started, because I do love running, well I love where running will take me.
In thinking about this lately I've kept going back to something I've wanted to do for a while now. Walking the Appalachian Trail. I know that this is something I want to do. I'm a little scared about going myself, and I've not done enough backpacking to really know what I am doing by myself. But I am in a time crunch. My Husband will be graduating from college this December, and getting a more permanent job. So we'll be more settled and well...maybe kids? Since it takes a while to walk 2000 miles, you can't really do this and have a little one at home. And you can only hike it at a set time each year to make it from one end to the next. March is ideal for hiking it from the south up to the north which means that I have one year to get ready and make up my mind. Help me! What do you think? I really want to do it... And I do have a year to get ready. It will just take a whole lot of dedication and determination to accomplish this. But it is something I want and think it's something that I need to do. I need to walk 2000 miles. Am I crazy?

Races

2007-01-22T17:38:00.000-05:00

Did you see the new side bar of up-coming races? Woo-hoo I am really getting excited now. I just really needed a good kick in the right direction to get going with my running. It's going no where fast. What better way than to pay to run in a race? I think I got a little over zealous the first time though, I was in a race every weekend. Did I mention yet that I have ever to run in ANY race yet? So that's why I made a "POSSIBLE" race list. If I don't get run some of them this year, well there's always next year.
I have something else to admit. I also put up the races to really get me committed to running. I get so busy and it's a weird time weather wise to really begin running (excuses I know) but I would be reading the blogs about this race & that race and I would feel like I was there. It's so real to me that I forget that I haven't really done any races yet myself. So that's what I am doing. I am making the change. Okay so how weird am I now? SO now you know the truth. :)

workout blues

2007-01-11T16:47:00.000-05:00

I'm back for another week of pure bliss! I am really getting used to these "mini" vacations. The reason for this one is my true loves B-Day weekend, even though it's not his b-day till the 16th. And no I am not going to tell this week be as bad as the last week off! It's a week off of work, it is not going to be a mini vacation of eating right and working out.
I did pretty good eating wise this week, a few bumps but they were mostly out of being stuck on plane with Mr. Personality him-self and being sleepy...emotional eating is all it was. As far as the working out, well I did two days. I kicked it up to another level on the running program and did some cardio and strength training on my arms. I can tell that I was a slacker, I became slower and sorer (is that a word?) than normal. But it felt good to get back into the swing a little bit, I think I should of taken it a little easier though on the weights. I am not one of those girls that is worried about looking like I stepped off of Muslce Beach. It makes me laugh to even think about it. Well I like lifting weights, it makes me feel strong and you can actually see that yes there is some form of a muscle in those arms and legs. But I really should know what I am doing before I jump into pumping iron! Needless to say I think I over extended my right shoulder a little bit and well I was in pain all day yesterday, (it feels much better today) you now that feeling you get in your arm when you sleep on it funny all night? Like sorta stiff and sore? Well that's what it felt like. Lesson learned.
Okay so I am really excited I am a little more than half way through one of my books: "The Fitness Factor by Lisa Callahan, M.D. ". At first I was disappointed, I could of gotten all this info out of a 3.99 copy of "Shape". But then the real stuff came, and she is wonderful now in my book. I am a real nerd about things and I like knowing what is going on in my body when I workout, eating, etc. I want to know what I am doing to my body, what's going on, what I can do... you get the point right? Well She goes through it all. How to pick a workout, how to progress, what's going on, how... She answers a lot of my questions. This is a wonderful book for people that didn't listen in P.E. or Science Class. Or for someone that whats a personal trainer, yet has a budget for a book, then this is the book. It is really giving me a good starting point. Like okay I know about heart rates and such but I really didn't. Has anyone tried to watch their heart rate without a monitor? Is it hard? Any tips? I really cannot afford one right now, and I understand now how important it is to know your heart rate and how to workout with that in mind. Or does any one know of a cheaper model that is reliable? Yes, I am getting back into the grove and it feels good.
Reading the book really makes me miss school. I love learning, (here's the nerd in me again) I love taking tests, writing papers, actually going to class. Are you ready for some truth? I never finished school. I moved out to Georgia and then got married. And we can't afford for both of us to go right now. And yes I love learning, but I have no real goal in mind of what to go after. I read all the time, even more with this job. All I do know is that whatever I study I want to be able to own my own business. I do not want to "go to work". 9 to 5 is not for me.
All life's questions cannot be answered in one blog. Bummer.

Back to the real life...

2007-01-06T17:29:00.000-05:00

It's so hard to get back into the swing of things. I do believe that I have lost whatever psychical strength I did manage to get before I took my "Christmas Break". And truthfully I am scared to get back out there running. Like it's back to square one with me. And I have no one to blame but myself and just maybe Tony Soprano. What hole have I been living under the last couple of years and missed this wonderful show...I'm hooked. God bless the DVD sets. I'm half way through season two. And I am really ready to go to Italy now. Hey maybe it could be for a Marathon, then I won't gain 50 pounds for eating all that pasta, wine, oh and the bread!! Yummyyy. Isn't pasta eating GOOD for you before a Marathon?? (note to self, do not blog before dinner.)
Anyways tomorrow I go back to work and so I really am going to get into the mind set that I was before. I want to come up with a set workout per month and really start the get go on the 5K's. Hopefully I'll get some good choices close to home. Anyone from good old Georgia heard of anything?? Even though I did lose weight in December I did gain it all back and I am at the starting weight of December. So the weight that I did lose I now have to re-lose again. Which stinks. Oh well that's my life.

Has anyone heard of a book called Mindless Eating? My Mother-in-law was given the book for Christmas and she loved it. She wants me to read it, I just haven't heard anything about it. I've got lots of reading to do anyways, I was given some great books. Dean Karnazes--Ultramarathon Man, Fitness for Women, Running for Women, and a book called Women on the Top. (let me explain...it's about the first females that climbed Mt. Everest) Needless to say I will be getting pumped about working out. I just hope that it's not all FLUFF and there is good advice ect, in the books. You just can never tell.

And yet I still do not have a computer and this trip is going to be a LONG & HARD one. With just enough time to workout and go to bed if all the flights are on time. (Crossing my fingers!) So it may be a while before I am able to blog...but knowing that I have to get on and tell you all if I worked out or not I should get my butt in gear!!

Welcome 2007

2007-01-04T19:14:00.000-05:00

In my mind I am still on Vacation. Since I had to fly on Christmas Day, and then only had two days off before out I went again, this week is my delayed Christmas break. Which is working out nicely. My husband starts back at school this upcoming Monday, so we've both had all this wonderful time off. And it's been filled with a lot of being lazy! Things we aren't able to do throughout the holiday. We haven't been that lazy, we've been playing golf every day this week. And I will never again ask what is so hard about golf. I am very sore! And it's not from hitting the ball 300 yards, I am not yet at Tiger's level. Key word being yet. :) So yes this is my Christmas gift!! what a wonderful gift! I love it! My love is too good for me.

I am feeling really guilty right now, because of all of you talking about how wonderful it is to be back in the game. And here I am...enjoying...no not even that, just taking a visit down good old Susie lane. What my life was like & how I enjoyed it. Yet it cannot compare with the feeling of being out there with the wind in your hair ( okay I am not that fast yet..) Running just fits...

So as far as 2007........ we'll see what happens. I know I want to run a Marathon... but do I really need 2007 to roll around before it all takes place? 2006 was a darn good year and I have much to be amazed over. Not only was it the year that I found running (okay that is overkill...I still am in the learning to run programme) but I also really learned more about me. Running is just a whole new ball into the Field.

So 2007 bring it on.

keeps going and going....

2006-12-20T17:32:00.000-05:00

Well life should be slowing down soon right? I mean the holidays are almost right here at the door and then life will slow down right? Please tell me it will, I am really beginning to feel not the stress just really worn out. I love this time of year, but normally I am not this busy. I just got back from a wonderful week back home in California, which explain to me why we had a snow storm and it was in the 70's in Georgia?? So I got a white Christmas of sorts. Anyways my little baby sister who is 18 just got married. It was a BEAUTIFUL wedding and all, but umm she is so young and for that I do worry about her. I take that back yes she has caused me stress, and lots of it. I also came home with a lovely two pounds. I can thank my Mom's husband and all his yummy Mexican food.
I know it's not much but I am still time crunched and hopefully I'll be able to really be able to right back after the holiday with a new found strength for working out. I'm in a bit of a rut and sleep always wins! Maybe I'll get some really get gifts for running and working out. :) Then I'll wanna work out!!

I've been so bad...

2006-12-08T11:14:00.000-05:00

Where oh where have I been??? Yes I am still out a computer plug and I think it's a running theme for all the hotels I stay at to have their computers break down the day I get there! GURRRR... I've kinda been falling off the band wagon and I really do believe it is because I haven't had this blog to keep me accountable. I record all my food online as well and that has also not been doing so well. There is so much I could blame it on though but in the end it is my own laziness. However with every gain I did lose it the following week, my life as been like a see-saw this past couple of weeks---up and down----up and down----. It is time to step off and make another real hard go for it. One final push to end this year off right!

Well let's see if I can make short summary's of what I have been doing while away.
The 22nd of Nov, was our three year wedding anniversary! That was amazing, that I can be so lucky to be with my best friend and the one I truly love for three whole years and am even more in love with him now then I was then.
Then there was Thanksgiving...We spent the holiday with his Moms side of the family and boy can they cook! It's all really good southern cooking, and nothing came out of a box. It was all made by hand...Pies and stuffing...Turkey...Yummy it's making my tummy ready for Christmas breakfast & lunch! It was wonderful to be with his family and have no drama just laughter and food. No football though, that was a little different.
Then came work. And more work. That's really all that I have been doing to make up for the time off I took at the beginning of the month for the golf Championship. So I work and then have one day off then work...It went on like that for quite a while. And I think that's why I ended up getting sick. In which all I could do is work and then sleep as soon as I got to the hotel. Yea I was a HUGE ball of fun. Just the idea of working out made me sleepily and tired. Is it a bad idea to work out then you don't feel well or should you push on and sweat it out of you?
Anyways the latest thing we got to do was go to the SEC Championship Game. I had never been before and one of our friends ended up with two extra tickets game day and so we went. (it got my husband out of a whole day of Christmas shopping so needless to say he was one happy guy) I never knew how LOUD college fans are of their teams. My ears ran for days after that, but it was worth it. Watching football is so much better live, and even though I don't know whats going on most of the time, I can get into it so much more in person.
And so that pretty much leads us up to this point, I am feeling much better and am leaving to go out on a 4 day trip today and I will workout! And eat right. I so badly want to be in the 140's before the new year. Did I tell you my weight? 156.5 pounds. Yea it feels good, but I've been struggling with getting past this for a while, remeber what I said about the see-saw?
I just have to remeber how far I have come and keep on pushing.... I will be in the 140's by the new year.

I need my Computer Fix!!

2006-11-17T14:47:00.000-05:00

It's been to long, I need that charger for my computer! I just found out that the warranty was up like a week before this all happened. What are the odds of that?

I have a little confession to make. Yesterday I was running on the treadmill at the hotels gym when I caught the reflection of myself running in the TV screen. Do you know that for the whole workout I was watching myself run? I was, I admit it. It was a reflection of the back side of me as well, I've never seen what I look like running. Some where along the lines of all this I have lost my back fat. It's a smooth line all the way to ummm well my little love handles are still there, but the back fat gone. Wow. I'm one of those people that runs past the mirror, if I didn't have to have one to put on makeup well I wouldn't ever use one. This is all the effect of low self-esteem, which I might add just went up a notch after the run. It justs feels weird to be admitting it...
But as far as the running goes I went on to another week of running, and it is harder but man does it feel good. I still feel like it is slow going and am I ever going to get to a 5k?! I just want to get there and get on to the next goal...

Giving Thanks

2006-11-10T10:58:00.000-05:00

Do you know what one of the best things about blogging are? That you can for a few minutes pretend that nothing else is going on. You make friends with people you may never meet face to face, but you know their passion, ie. running, marathoning, hiking, camping, ect. Whatever that passion is you can talk about it blog after blog and people still will come back and read the blogs. If I were to talk this much about running & losing weight in my day to day life, I might not have any friends any more! Okay it's not THAT bad, but a small part is. My friends are not into running, anything really health related. So I get my advice and encouragement from you bloggers out there!! I am not sure what I would do without you all! Even those of you that don't know about me...Yes I am a bit of a lurker. I'm still shy even in the bloggers world. Your stories make me want to try and push myself harder daily to be able to share my own story of triumph.
You all have given me a little view of what being an athlete really is, of the hard work that goes into running a Marathon, even a 5k for that matter! You've made it real, not just something I've read about in a magazine. For that I thank you all. And watch out, one day at one of these marathons I will be out there and I will thank you...at the finish line.

Busy Bee

2006-11-09T12:12:00.000-05:00

I know it's been a while. It's been busy, and my computer cord is broken! Again, so I cannot charge my computer till we get a new cord. I feel lost without my computer.
Anyways...

This past week was not one of my better ones. I worked out well up to the weekend and then well, things happened. But I still had a 1.5 pound loss this past week. Which makes it a total of 14 pounds lost. I can't think of once when I have lost 14 pounds before. I am really proud of myself, however I know that it could be better if I would workout seriously. No matter how far I have come, there is still so much farther to go. I am still not out of week two with the running, and it's not because I cannot do it. It's because my mind is still putting up road blocks. When I see a hill, it tells my body that it cannot do it...And I try to fight it back, sometimes it wins other times I win, and up the hill I go. Maybe it will never get easy, maybe it's not ever supposed to be. I don't know if I would like it as much if it was ALWAYS easy. Take today, a beautiful day in DC and I went for a run, after my little warm up it was time to run. I have never seen my legs go like they did before. They wanted to run, they were begging for it and off they went. But by the fourth interval it was up a hill and I just couldn't do it anymore. I had to walk off the rest of the run. Disappointment was HUGE! I was feeling really good out there. It helped that is a beautiful, sunny, cool autumn day. With cute little houses and sidewalks! I wish I could live in a place like this. There where all kinds of moms out running their kids with those running-stroller things. The colors of the trees oh wow! It was just a perfect setting, I never want to run on a treadmill ever again! It was just really disappointing not being able to make a strong run throughout. But I will be back, seeing that this is one of my favorite new places to stay now. And the next run will be stronger. Am I not saying the Right thing to myself to push myself up the hill or what? I can't wait till I look back at this all and I am stronger, and I can run faster and farther. :)

Well I am going to go and see what kinda of gym this hotel has and see about maybe doing some weights. It will make me feel a little better! Have a good day Ya'll and drink up some water!! (I also will try and post later and tell you all about the golf TOUR...)

162.5

2006-11-01T15:39:00.000-05:00

I was to upset with myself yesterday to post my weight and the half a pound gain that I had! But I need to be honest and so there it is. Maybe I gained muscle, I guess in order to do that you need to workout even harder than ever, which was not last week. No it simply came down to over eating and not working out. My fault plain and simple. I've just got to try harder this week. So far so good, we'll see how the rest of the week goes. I did find some super old dumb bells in my in-laws storage unit... So I get to use those while I am at home. Really I want to buy new ones but I have to prove to myself that I really will use them before I go and spend hard earned money on them.

I also have a new goal for myself, there is a small talk about my husband and I going on a 4-5 month trip next year! Where you ask? We're thinking about Hiking the Appalachian Trail, next year. Yep that means hiking 2000 miles for the fun of it. From the mountains of Georgia all the way up to Maine. Growing up on the Pacific crest Trail, it's always been something I've wanted to do back home. I never got that chance and little did I ever know that one day I would be living out in Georgia, miles away from the East Coast version of the trail back home (this trail goes from Mexico to Canada). And I love backpacking. It's like running in the sense that you get yourself from point "A" to point "B". But you also don't get to go home and you are carrying a pretty heavy load on your back. I think running will help me develop a better body to withstand everything we would be going through. Could you imagine how great my legs would be after the hike? I could run for days!! And I would love to get away from this crazy world-life that I live and just be with my best friend and husband, in the middle of the woods for months. Just being outside, seeing something not very many people get to see, doing something not very many people get to do.
I can't wait I'll keep you posted.

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T20:10:00.000-05:00

I am proud to say that the only bit of candy that I have eaten today is a small bag of Whoppers. And I even counted in the points and yes I am giving away candy. :) How great is that? This year however I did buy candy that is not one of my favorites so that I would not be just that much more tempted. :) I don't even have any kids of my own but I feel like I owe it to the people to who's houses I will be talking my kids to one day, to at least give out candy. And I will admit it used to be a really good reason to get tons of my favorite candy in the house without the guilt. It's not for me! It's for the Trick or Treaters! It's the same lie we all tell ourselves every Halloween and Easter. Okay and while I am talking about Halloween I might as well admit that I did carve out my own pumpkins as well. :) Ones really cute with a scared looking face and then the other is really neat looking with a witch and a ghost coming out of the witches pot holding a pumpkin. Yea, I told you it was cool. What can I say? I am just one of those people, a lady told me the other day that I should of been a Kinergarden Teacher. Ummm that I just don't think I could do, and I am not that Holiday crazy I just have tons of sisters (and one brother!) who also have a ton of kids. You can't help how you were raised! Just wait till Christmas ya'll!!!
I am also baking right now...yes I do use that thing called a kitchen every once in a blue moon. :) I made the BEST pumpkin cookies ever. I swear & the best part is they are only worth 1 point! And no they are not diet food, it's just that good for you! Yummy... oh there goes the door bell...
A mom with her kids out trick or treating just asked if I ever wanted a running/walking buddy she's new and would love too. I'm guessing she lives in the neighborhood?

Maybe she saw me out there today? How cool was that though? So I just might have a new friend. Have I said yet in this blog that I love running & not only running but what running brings?

Today was just the most perfect day ever and after I got all my things done that I needed I came home and I went out for a run. And for the first time ever I was not looking at my feet, I was looking at the sky the leaves in their beautiful colors. Yes I do love running, and I wonder if running on the treadmill has helped my balance and so is that why I am not looking at the ground any longer? Ummm And running on the road is much harder still and that makes the decision of slowly going for the half marathon that much of an easier choice. However I do like running outside a million times more than the treadmill. It only puts me about a week behind on the running program, but I think I will be a better runner for it if I do run outside for the rest of the week. :) Just perfect.

Okay ya'll have a GREAT Halloween and do enjoy some candy...just not all of it!

Marathon Runners

2006-10-26T20:18:00.000-04:00

I must admit something, I am a lurker. You've caught me! I wanted to read about runners and I have found ton's of blogs. Mostly about running the Chicago Marathon. Hearing about how hard it was but how worth it was in the long run. And then reading about how the recovery was supposed to be no running, but they couldn't stay away. Because after all they had fallen in love with running, and you cannot keep a runner away from the road. I cannot wait till that is me. I want my very own bib number and a medal, do they give medals to all runners? Of feeling so proud that you completed a marathon, you ran yourself from the start to the finish. I write as if I know what it feels like, but really I have no idea. It's only something that I can live through others eyes (or rather their blogs!) right now, at least till I can do it for myself. I'm getting myself there bit by bit. One more run on the second week of training and I think I will be ready to move to the third week. Today was even better on the run than before. I do think I need to step it up a notch in the "brisk" walking parts. I think I am letting my heart rate get to low and then I speed it right back up for the run. I'm going to work on that this next week.
I am also really worried about the fact that I did lose 4 pounds in one week. I mean can I keep this up? I do not want to deal with a gain. Funny shouldn't I be so happy about how much I did lose? And now I am worried about gaining it back. Well I should be honest and tell you why, I have pretty much all of next week off. And if you've been reading you know how bad I am at keeping up this pace at home. It's going to be a real test of strength of just how bad do I want this. I guess I could try and be a homemaker and actually plan and make the food for the week. :) I've got such a loving husband, who loves to cook. Needless to say I will be on blogger quite a bit, to gain strength from all you out there. And as a way to be kept even MORE accountable.

162

2006-10-25T14:18:00.000-04:00

Yippie! I cannot believe that I lost 4 pounds! It seems just like yesterday that I was in the 170's and now I am almost out of the 160's! My goal was to be at my 10% goal by next week, which would mean that I would have to lose 5 pounds next week. And how great it was that I did lose 4 this week, I do doubt that I will lose 5 pounds this next week. That would be a bit of a reach, however I will take whatever I get, just not a gain!

I have made a decision about the Half Marathon this spring. I'm not going to go for it. I think I should post-pone it a little while longer. Seeing that winter is coming and I haven't even ran a 5k yet, I think I should slowly work my way towards it. For a couple of reasons, so I don't get burnt out of running, both mentally and physically. And so that I can really work on my time, I want to actually run in the marathon and get a good time. I'm also a little worried about not being able to get enough running in this winter. I know I will sound like a baby, but it is getting cold out here. I still want to do the 5k at Christmas, and who knows maybe I will change my minds yet again as I get more running time in. We'll see.

I was getting really stiff last week and I realized that I was not getting my yoga in like I used too, I've been trying to get more in and I've found a session that is for runners. It really works out all the sore muscles and has really helped me this past week. For all you non-yogi's out there, you should really be giving this a try.

I also want to post a question out there (...this might be a bit much for guys, just warning you!) I am very well blessed in the boobies, I think the whole being over-weight thing has only added them in size. Well I want to be working the muscles under them so that while I lose weight they aren't hanging by my knees. Gross mental picture. Push ups? Pull ups?? What would work the best?

Ready for another week?? Eat well and Drink up!

Head of the Charles

2006-10-22T20:01:00.000-04:00

I have a new found love (again) for being fit. As I said in an earlier post I had one of my layovers in Boston this weekend. And it just so happened to be the same day as the "Head of the Charles". http://www.hocr.org/home/default.asp That should be the web sight so you can get an even better idea of what the weekend was all about and of course for pictures, seeing that I didn't have my camera the one time I really wished I would of had it. But anyways, you know what I love about Boston? Besides it being the home of the Boston Marathon of course, well I guess that is a part of it all. I love that there is always people running, and I don't mean "to the store" or "to get a cab", it's because they want to. And they are running with their babies in those cool running baby carries, they are running their dogs. And if they are not running they are riding their bikes. Everywhere. It's like being in Denver. And it was just a beautiful fall weekend. Everyone was bundled up drinking their Soy Lattes, (I swear, one place was giving it away FREE!) And then I saw the rowers...(probably not the right term to call them! hey I'm still new at this!) They had rock hard bodies, solid muscle, but completely toned. In others words they didn't look like they could beat up my 6 foot brother-in-law. And they had to work completely together...it was nice seeing teamwork. But I am still torn with solo sports. Anyways it really inspired me to be the one being cheered on. Having people, tons and tons of people watching, admiring, wishing they could be in your place. I want to feel the rush of comptention with other people, of pushing yourself even when you can't go on. Whatever the sport may be I want to be on the other side of the show, I am not watching from the sidelines anymore. It's not about the weight anymore, it's about getting to the point of being an athletic girl. It really was so BEAUTIFUL...and eye opening for me. Just you wait and see, I'm gonna get there.

11.5.....

2006-10-19T23:20:00.000-04:00

What's up with the numbers 11.5 you ask? Well... that's how many points I went over today. Yes in one day alone. And really I know why I pigged out, you see my husband left to go out of town for the weekend. I hate being alone. Weird isn't it? My job is all about being alone really, and when I am out on a trip, yes I miss him but it's work. It's what I do. But at home this is where we are supposed to be. It's made me know what it feels like to "walk in his shoes for a mile". I don't know how he does it. Me leaving all the time. He is the most amazing man ever.

All I can do is work hard tomorrow and really watch what I eat for the rest of the week. That I can do, I didn't even workout today! I really needed a day off. SO I will start back up tomorrow. I'm actually looking forward to it. Me looking forward to running. Stranger things have happened. I have yet something else to work toward now, we've decided to take a week off this March and go to St. Simon Island for a week. It's off the coast of Georgia and although it's not "tropical" island it is a wonderful place. We spent a weekend there last spring and I still remember wishing I was a runner, to run the beaches in the morning. It's something I've always wanted to do but seeing I was never a runner, and I was embarrassed to just go and run. Like it was something I might do wrong. Not this spring. I will run the streets and the beach in St. Simon. Change feels good. Just even the little bit of running I am doing has changed so much, I am looking forward to seeing how it's going to effect my life this next year. I read that when you start to change the way you eat and the way you live your life it may only take you 6 months to lose the weight but to really change the way you live it takes a year. One year to go through all the changes, birthdays, holidays, weddings, summer time, winter blues....All of it. If you can make it though the year well your just that much closer to it being normal life. It's only been 1 month and I think I did really well. And I have to make it though the hardest Holidays first... Thanksgiving & Christmas. My wish is to make it though the season and to still be losing weight. However I will be perfectly happy with myself if I don't gain anything. But I do want to lose so that will still be the goal. And I have accountability this time. I'm not worried, bring it on!

2006-10-18T07:31:00.000-04:00

No Vegas for me! The whole weather thing in Atlanta really messed things up and yes they recrewed us! We got to go to New York instead, and that meant the hotel with the Sauna!!! Even if it means getting 6 hours of sleep. My whole body hurts after lugging the suitcase around. It's been bad. I would like to say that it has made me think more about what I pack, but not really. :) A girls gotta have her stuff!
I woke up this morning feeling very skinny. Let me rephase that...I woke up this morning feeling thinner. :) Just a little bit, like maybe all this hard work is paying off? Funny how now that I am doing more running and hard cardio workouts and less yoga I can really tell the effect it had on my body. It's much tighter and sore after the day of the workouts. I need to make it a point to add yoga every day again.
Time is creepin' up on me, gotta go.

Wheels, you've gotta have them!

2006-10-17T13:04:00.000-04:00

So I forgot to tell you that my wheels on my suitcase fell off! That means I get to lug around my lunch box, my flight bag and my suitcase (which weighs a ton! This laptop is really more for watching DVD's rather than lugging it around the world.). All day today, with two plane swaps and to the hotel, and then again tomorrow with a plane swap and to the parking lot. It should be fun and I should have a good arm and back workout by the time this is all over! What did people do before wheeled suitcases where around???

Vegas...yes again... :-P

2006-10-17T11:56:00.000-04:00

I've got to get all my internet duties done today, seeing that I am headed to Vegas AGAIN! And Vegas is known for a lot of things but having a great connection is not one of them, it takes like 1 hour to just up load a page. That's real high speed folks! I guess they don't really think that you are going to be in the room much, they want you out gambling! Well I am only going to be there for 11 hours. And that's if we get out on time...There's weather in Atlanta, and if you've ever had to fly through that airport you know what it means...DELAYS. I do hope that we get reassigned, on this turn. Anyways...
I was supposed to do my second week of training for the run, but that means that I would of had to run in Vegas. Second thing that Vegas is not known for...Hey maybe it's just my hotel (no gym). So I just switched the days and I ran today. It felt GREAT, I think I am getting really hooked on this thing called running. I am kind of nervous about the fact that I might be running miles and miles one day, and then working out hard! Woo-hoo!! I am not seeing much of a change in my body butt it is getting easier, I am not as out of breathe as soon as I was before. I am feeling good though, I'm not as tried at the end of the day. And I am actually looking forward to the workouts. Even weirder. I am loving it...

166

2006-10-16T01:49:00.000-04:00

I lost two more pounds already! I again had to weigh in early, seeing as I started a trip just a few hours ago...Which is a great thing as far as the weight loss and training are concerned. As I stated in the lost post I have a problem sticking with things at home. Which is weird, shouldn't it be the other way around? Harder on the road and easier at home? Well anyways I am happy with the loss. I was going for three pounds to make the first month an even 10 pounds lost, but I think I just might be able to live with 9 pounds.
I'm also beginning to wonder if I can really run 13 miles in March. I haven't even ran 3 miles yet, let alone 13. But I think I am still going to keep training for it and when the last fee is due (in Dec.) before the price rises again I should have more of an idea?!?? I should also of gotten in at least two 5k runs by that time. But I am pretty discouraged after the last run, I guess we shall see then huh? I'm starting week two of training tomorrow, there's a Ballys Gym next to the hotel that we get a free pass to use and I am crossing my fingers for a sauna... Ahhh nice. It will be nice to use newer, cleaner, more options of machines...a real gym!

Mind over Body

2006-10-14T18:47:00.000-04:00

I had my last run of week one today, and I must admit it was a very bad one. Seeing that I am at home and I quit the whole gym thing cause I really wasn't home enough for it to make sense to pay all that money. Anyways running outside is much better, and now that it is cooler outside it feels great right? Well I took the path and I didn't eat enough protein to really go out for a run. Note to self ****eat more before workout****. I couldn't stick with running, I mean I could of, I really could of if I pushed myself, and it just Want there today. I couldn't get it together. I'm to ashamed to even write what little I did run. But it was a lesson learned. And the one thing I am learning a lot about lately is that "life happens". Yes you might say, but really at 25 you're just finding this out? No hear me out. While on my trips, life is great, I eat what I had planned out, I workout how I wanted too, I drink all my water..Maybe too much. I don't really (hardly ever) eat anything I shouldn't while away. But when I am at home all hell breaks lose. I'm pretty lucky if I workout and even though I try to eat right, well we eat out a lot. And the husband is always asking me what I can have ect...I just lose all willpower when I am at home. Ahhh!!! And I am this close to getting to the 10 pound marker...Which means I might fit into the pants I had last year. How did it ever get this far? If anyone has any ideas or tips on how to win mind vs. Body, please let me know... Is it by eating more protein???

168

2006-10-10T09:48:00.000-04:00

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit."

Yes I had loss of more than half a pound! I had to weigh myself on Monday because I wasn't going to be home on Tuesday and hotels don't put scales in the weight rooms. What's up with that? SO I weighed myself and for the whole day I thought that I had only lost half a pound again. Then this morning I entered in my weight (168!) and it said that it was a pound and a half different from last week! How did I get half a pound? I never said I was great with math but really... Anyways I will take that extra pound! That brings the total weight loss to 7 pounds! Only 3 more pounds till 10! I can't even remember when the last time was that I lost ten pounds!

Las Vegas was a blast. However it did rain and if you wanna go to Vegas and you are worried about the free drinks flowing, well go wed. night while it is raining. No one was there...And the drinks so I had two. The whole night! And we stayed away from the bad food and actually ate really well. As far as the gambling went...I only lost 12 dollars! I won 10 bucks at the very last minute on a nickel machine! Three red sevens in a row! How lucky am I? And it was just really wonderful to hang out with my sister, someone else who says points to much and thinks way to much about new ways to eat more for less points and working out! Wonderful!

Not only did I get to spend a wonderful time in Vegas I also got to spend an amazing weekend with my Husband and my Father-in-law. I know this is going to sound weird but I am one of those people that get along with their in-laws. EWWW I know, but I do. I actually spend quite a bit of time with them, and it helps that they have this wonderful lake house in north Carolina. Yeah that helps. :) (so I later felt bad saying this...I'd love them even if they didn't have the house, I swear.) So we spent the weekend up there and the leaves there changing, oh it was so pretty. I do think the best weekend will be two weekends from now. And I have to work!

:( But I get to go to Boston....more on that later! We drove the motorcycle through the mountains, I think I need to live in the mountains. Some day... We rode over to the Joyce Kilmer Park. And we hiked around, if you have never been there it's this park with the biggest poplar trees ever, once we took seven adults to wrap around the tree trunk. So yea B-I-G trees. I love the type of people that go hiking and this park is a bit out of the way, so to go here you must plan it and go out of your way. He also wrote my Grandfathers favorite poem, the first poem he had to learn for school. It's just a very special place for me because of my love for nature and the meaning it holds with my Grandfather. This is the poem....

Trees

I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a tree. A tree whose hungry mouth is prest Against the earth's sweet flowing breast; A tree that looks at God all day, And lifts her leafy arms to pray; A tree that may in Summer wear A nest of robins in her hair; Upon whose bosom snow has lain; Who intimately lives with rain. Poems are made by fools like me, But only God can make a tree.
- Joyce Kilmer

Ahhhh.......so sweet.

Check back for pictures of the hike and for pictures of Vegas! I lost my up-loading cord for my computer to my camera so it might be a while but I will get them up.

All in all it was a great week and I still am more than ever ready to get this week going. I've already done my running and weight training this morning. And I've rethought the way I eat a little, I'm going to try to eat up all my fruits and veggies before I get to the 100 calorie snacks. My major down fall. And my goal is to workout for 40 minutes each day. And then each week add more time. And I'd also like to move to the second week of the running program next week.

It feels good to be back. Cheers to the new week!

Jump rope

2006-10-04T12:38:00.000-04:00

Who knew that jump rope could be so hard? Or maybe I am just really that outta wack! It felt good, got the heart rate up and even got a sweatin' going on. :) I've got to get the 3 pounds this week... I'll be a workout nut by the time this is all said and done.
I was resting up yesterday looking for some cute running gear when I found two really great sites. I'm sure all you "real" runners out there have already found these sites, but just in case...
http://runningskirts.com
They have the running skirts! Duh name site and all but I didn't even know such things were around.
http://outdoordivas.com
They have something more for all sports, which is wonderful. Seeing as I am not only a runner! I am also a hiker, ect... And I love the fact that they have girl only classes. It makes me wish I lived in Colorado. Well just add it to the list of reasons, I really would love to live out there!

I really don't have much to say other than letting you know about the cool sites, eating has been going well, I just need to workout even more. I had a dream last night that I was up before dawn running miles after miles. It felt good, even if it was a dream! I can't wait till it's real life!

Oh yeah, I head out to Vegas tonight! I'm really excited but worried, I need to be good. Stay away from the buffets and keep track of the drinks. I'm bringing my own breakfast and lunch along with some snacks... it should help! Vi Va Las Vegas!

Getting Back

2006-10-03T10:39:00.000-04:00

I was checking my e-mail when I got this really great message...I thought I would pass it along. Funny how things work like this isn't it?

Tuesday, October 3
Getting Back on the WagonIt happens — you miss a few workouts and you feel like your weight-loss plan is totally derailed. It's tempting to mentally slap yourself around, right? Before you start, I want you to remind yourself of something. Being hard on yourself is the Old You.
The New You knows how to deal with setbacks and get back on the wagon. And after all, there are no mistakes, just learning experiences. Weight loss is a process — it takes time. You will encounter small failures — everyone does — but every pound you gain can be lost.
And if you miss a workout, it's not the end of the world! Get to the gym the next day and continue to focus on your short-term goals. Just because you made bad choices today doesn't mean you can't start over tomorrow. New day? New beginning. And don't you forget it.

169.5

2006-10-03T09:49:00.000-04:00

"Feel pride in how far you've come and confidence in where you're going."

I really needed this saying to start the post off. As you can see the weigh-in this morning was less than I had hoped. But it was a loss, and I believe I just said yesterday that I would be happy with any loss, even a half a pound loss. Well I lied. I am happy that it wasn't a gain as this week really was the worst week to date. But only half a pound, again? I don't want this to be a trend, one week lose half a pound the next lose 4.5 pounds. Well I guess that wasn't so bad. :) So I went over what I did wrong this past week and I've come down with three factors.

I didn't even match how hard I worked out two weeks ago.
I didn't drink half as much water
Beer...lot's of beer (yes even AFTER the ice cream!)

That's the things I need to really work on this week. And I've already started, I bought a 1 liter water bottle and plan to drink and re-fill it a couple times today. I did over sleep this morning so I didn't get the workout in this morning but I will when I get home tonight. I plan on doing more yoga, jump rope, and maybe even a walk with Molly. (the best golden retriever in the world!) I think after last week I thought the weight would just magically fall off, without having to try at it. Well if it was that easy this wouldn't be an obese filled country and I would be a skinny mini. Just like the fact that unless I train I will never be able to just pick up and run 13.1 miles. Yes I did learn my lesson and I am not going to let this keep me down. I've tasted what success feels like and I am not about to give up now. I am going to give these four weeks my all, I've been holding back. I know I can do better than what I have been giving. There is more to me than that!

My biggest hurdle this week will be my long Vegas layover! You know what Vegas means, good food at all times of the day and free flowing beer and other alcoholic drinks! But my sister, who is also doing W/W with me is driving up to see me. So I will have a support, but really there will be drinking going on. Who am I kidding? So if anyone has any idea on drinks to get that are point friendly, please let me know. I'm also thinking about doing something "fitness" while out there, besides all the walking. Any ideas?

Here it goes...seven more days to change...little by little...day by day...

End of Week # 3

2006-10-02T21:21:00.000-04:00

Has it really been three weeks? It hasn't seemed like it has been that long. I think this is the longest that I have kept with one diet, I mean, with one life change. :) I am really proud of myself. That I showed myself that I can do this.
I don't believe my weight will show a big loss this week, I didn't work out as much as I did last week and I didn't drink as much water. I drink tons of water, maybe to much, when I am working but when I am home it's harder. Like I forget to drink. I need to just keep a water bottle with me at all times. And the working out---I started the running program again, and my heels did fine. The nikes...wonderful! It felt great to run in shoes that didn't have wear marks in the sole! Or that were actually made for running! Oh it's the little things that make me happy. SO my new training plan is to run on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday. Of course that will change every week regarding the abilty with work to workout.
I almost gave up on the run this evening, I thought the golf course would be a safe easy place to run. Safe yeah, easy no way! Do you have any idea how hilly the course is? Every time it was telling me to run it was always up a hill. How is that for luck? But all in all I figured that when I do run marathons it is not always going to be flat. So why train on flat ground? What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...who said that anyways?? And did they ever run?
I do hope there is a loss. Even if it is only, yes, half a pound. I'll take it. Anything but a gain. I still have to get to my 10% goal by the end of the month!

Edy's Dibs

2006-09-30T19:43:00.000-04:00

Does the title say it all or what? So this is my first down fall. I ate the whole tub! It was yummy, and at the same time I really do feel sick right now. It is the most sugar that I have had in my tummy in three weeks! And I am not going over my points (there is that word again) so I do know that it is not that bad. It's just a bad choice.
I don't know what came over me. I have been so very good so far, and honestly I wasn't hungry, heck it wasn't even my TOM. Okay so maybe that wasn't true...I do know why. There is this Brew Pub in the same parking lot as my hotel and my husband (and I) LOVE fresh Mico-brewery beers. So I thought I would be the sweet wife and buy him a gift, which of course I will share...only to my points though! Well the minor thing was all I brought with me were my workout clothes. Not phasing me a bit I go over and as I am about to walk in the dreaded...HOMECOMING. Tons of rail-thin-make-up-to-the-t-puffy dresses-clad-teenage-girls. All of the sudden I felt like I was back in high school. (yes I was the geeky-but-funny-pretty-yet-not-really-girl-next-door-sort-of) Whatever, I tossed my head and ran in the door..."CAN I HELP YOU?" ...the eyes looked me up and down!! Needless to say I ran to food, ice cream, is my comfort food. Since freshly baked cookies where out of the question. Why did I fall into the high school fears? I thought I had grown up...I have not felt like that since high school. A weak moment and another reminder of why I am doing this. For me. To feel proud of my legs for they won't be big-they will be strong, strong enough to get me across the finish line at a marathon. To be proud of my body. To be confident not only in my body but what I can do.
A moment of weakness helped me to remember just what I am doing all this for, ME.

ummmm

2006-09-29T20:55:00.000-04:00

Ugh.
Not much to really write about...can u tell I've been gone a few days?
I'm still kinda worried about this weeks weigh-in, since when am I not worried? So I've been trying to workout these last couple of days to make up for my sore heals. I did a weight lifting workout this evening and I was disappointed to find out how little points I actually got from it, however my legs and arms where jelly afterward so I guess it was successful. My thighs are still hurting from a tough session of yoga for the butt & thighs. Any one that thinks yoga is for whips...you're not doing it right! Trust me, it kills!
As to my heals I think they are ready to start the running program again. The Half-Marathon is just around the corner. And I will NOT walk, I will RUN.

Fighting the blues!

2006-09-27T16:28:00.000-04:00

Yeah I lost 5 pounds.

Now I am kinda worried that I won't be able to keep losing weight. I'm trying to tell that part of my head to shut up! I lost weight, I already showed myself that it is possible and that I did it. I can still feel fat on my body, I can still see it for that matter!! So it is there to lose. It's amazing how much of a battle this is with your head. People have told me and I've read that this is a hard battle. Not only to eat right and excerise but the games it plays with your head. Again I will go back to my sister, who is on week 4 and she lost 3 1/2 pounds on the third week. A total of 13 plus pounds in three weeks! So I do know I will lose weight...I just need to do what I did this last week. It's when I lost the most weight. When feeling blue make a list!

Eat all workout points---leave 10 extra points this week
Workout at least more than 19 points (points value for last week)
Get sleep!! 7 Hours...try...
Pick out reward for making it to my 10% goal by the end of October

It's amazing how many times I say "points" in a day. With this new "life style change" it's been all I say. Nope that's too many points, or my favorite...that's only two points! I've got to find a new way of saying points. :) I think I might of talked myself out of this slump...:)

Okay let me tell you something sad, I got the biggest badest blisters ever on my body (sorry if you have a weak tummy this is as bad as it will get I promise!) on my heals the other day. From my wonderful golf day. Stupid golf shoes. The worst part is that I can't even wear my new nike's! Which means nothing on my heals at all...when I'm talking huge, I really do mean just that. That also means the whole running plan is out for a while. Until my heals heel or until I can cover them enough to where it doesn't hurt. Bummer...I've only been running that once but I did fall madly in love with it. Or at least I was in the beginning stages of love. :) You know the part where you still don't know the bad stuff? It's all roses...

I also bought a jump rope, this really cool one that has a timer and a counter on the handles. It yet to has been unused waiting for the heels to feel better. It's been a long time since I jumped rope, I'll feel like a kid again. Someone told me it's good for you though. Lot's of uhh yea points.

Well I do feel better now. I'm gonna kick this weeks butt!! I will not give up that easily! You don't know who you are messing with!

170!!!!!!!!

2006-09-26T10:03:00.000-04:00

YIPPEEEE!!!! I am SO happy with this loss. I even got my first Milestone star from losing 5 pounds. And I am only 13 pounds away from the 10% goal. I don't know how it happened this week but it did. And I am so very happy!!! It's totally put a bounce in my step to start the next week. I'm a loser!! I've never been more proud of that than now.

This is what they told me after I put in my weight. Perfect thought for the week.

Here's a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt to keep you inspired: `The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.`

Tomorrow...

2006-09-25T21:56:00.000-04:00

I'm really trying hard not to think about tomorrow. Can you tell? It's Tuesday. The weigh in day. I'm just really curious about what is going to happen. What do I expect? Again I am hoping for a loss of 4.5 pounds. I want to get out of the 170's so very badly. But I will be happy with any loss. Even .5 pounds. So whatever it is, it is a loss. And I know that this is a long on going progress. And I am in this for the long run, so what does it really matter? Who am I kidding...it does matter to me. Cross your fingers for hoping.

It was such a beautiful day that I decided to try golf. For the first time ever. My husband is a HUGE golf fan and I love the sport myself. I've watched him play to many times to count and I've been to a few professional tours. Anyways I never tried. I walked 9 holes and carried my bag. W/W had it as an exercise option and so I thought what the heck. Well I am sore as heck, I'm scared what I will feel like tomorrow. But I got a par on one hole. My first game and I got a par. I'm hooked, it's all it took was one good hole. :) Watch out Anna, here I come!

Nike Free's

2006-09-24T13:33:00.000-04:00

Well my new shoes came in, I love them so much I just almost slept in them last night. My Husband, although he did say he liked them wasn't going for that. But if anyone out there can answer me this, I bought Nike Free's and the top part is a little tight on my foot. Is this normal? I did the most unthinkable thing, I bought the pair without ever even trying on a pair before. I was in love with them that much. As soon as I find my cord to down-load my pictures to my laptop I'll post them, so you all can see just how cute they are.

And even though I haven't been around for a couple days, W/W has been going really good. I was debating on putting my weight loss down for last week even though I didn't really weigh in on Tuesday like I am supposed too, and I figured why not!? What could it hurt right? Well I lost 2 points in just losing that half pound so my counts this week are sort of crazy. I still have weekly points left over I just really need to be watching what I eat now. You know spreading them out throughout the day, making meals the key. And I must admit I did go a little bit over board on Friday with the booze. But I am trying to do whatever I can to earn more points cause I would rather not use up ALL my weekly points.

Oh a side note I do think I am losing some weight. You see I have this ring that I wear on my left hand (yes the bigger hand) ring finger. Well I can put it on the thumb now. It's still not 100% cozy but it goes on and more importantly comes off! SO there is one small sign that things are happening. And again I feel my mind set changing every day. It's easier to give in to something I really would like and then be really good afterward. Learning when to say yes and when to say no.

I now also have two really important things coming up, I have the half-marathon in March (the 25th...only 181 days to train!) and then one of my husbands dearest friends is getting married. And this is going to be one of those HUGE big deal weddings. The kind where you actually care what you look like in the photos. And really it's an excuse to get a really awesome party dress and heels and look hot. The wedding is going to be in April I believe...so that gives me what 6-7 months to really rock this body? LET'S do THIS!!

Yeppieeee!

2006-09-20T15:55:00.001-04:00

Edorphins love me and I love them.
Can you tell that I started the "Couch-to-5k" running program? I love it. The music is a little uhh not my taste but it's different and it does have that beat. You know the one the play in ALL the gyms?
But he was really helpful, it was like having my own personal trainer. Someone else to watch the clock and tell me when to slow down and speed up. When to run, when to speed walk. This works baby! Lovin' it! I am going to run that 5k and then the marathon! Don't get me wrong it was kinda hard, mental note to self---Never, ever, workout on an empty tummy. I was about to crash half way through the workout. Funny I should know better, I just flew with a girl that broke her wrist for the very same reason. You think I would learn... :) We'll see how sore I am in the morning.

No weight to Post....

2006-09-19T20:13:00.000-04:00

I know, I know it's Tuesday and I am supposed to weigh in. But honestly I just couldn't do it. I couldn't face the scale again. So I am really just going to work really hard this next week and take into account that I didn't weigh in this week.

But guess what happened to me today? I started another 3 day trip around the country again today and the two other girls and I got talking when I pulled out my Weight Watchers Yogurt (1 point VERY good). One of the girls freaked out. She has been on weight watchers for 5 years and she lost 80 pounds the first year! WOW... needless to say she was all about the diet. She doesn't call it a diet she calls it a "LIFE CHANGE"...which is how I am looking at this. Once I do lose the weight I really would just like to be eating calories-in calories-out...but that time has not come yet. Back to the real world. It was like picking at my own personal weight watchers trainer. She also had tons of advice and food ideas for cooking on the plane. She also said that I might not be eating enough. That I really need to try and eat all my points. If you don't your metabolism will slow down. Causing no weight loss. So chalk that up as yet maybe one more reason for the 1/2 pound loss. Yes I am still saddened by that.

As for starting the running program I will start tomorrow. It says only to do it 3 days a week and if I start tomorrow I might be able to use my new running shoes twice this weekend at the lake. I've been wanting some Nike Free's for a while, really light weight, gets your feet stronger, how can you lose? They are supposed to get to the house on Friday, but I am hoping Fedx is wanting to impress me and get my shoes to me on Thursday. If not I won't be able to try them out till Monday! :( We're going out of town this weekend, for one last go around on the lake before it gets to cold. Wakeboarding, swimming, all good water sports are in the plans. We should have a great time.

I'm always up for new ideas on workouts-food-ect... I'm still new and could use all the help I get!

Feeling Blue

2006-09-18T18:58:00.000-04:00

Well as the title says I am or rather was feeling pretty blue.

Yesterday I got home from my trip and was feeling really good. I had made it 5 whole days on Weight Watchers, without cheating or going over the points. Until I was unpacking I walked by the bathroom...and the scale. I tried hard to resist the power of the scale. BUT it was to much and I was telling myself that it would be a good booster for me to see all that weight that I had lost. I stepped on the scale feeling oh so much pride at myself when it read 174.5. Yes, it was right. I even got on again thinking something must be wrong. I've only lost 1/2 a pound. So what did I do? Indugled on Chinese, what else would you do? I was pretty much in a royal bad mood after that...not only did I only lose 1/2lb I couldn't even control my own eating. So I am pretty sure I went over my daily points AND eat up the rest of my weekly points. Still feeling pretty blue. Well my Husband who bless his heart as been with me all the way every time I say I am going to be starting a diet. And he has seen me quit after each time it doesn't happen the way I thought it should of been. Well He is really pushing me this time to stick with it, and he pretty much laid it out on the line for me. Telling me I wasn't going to lose the weight that my sister did...really encouraging me to stick with it. And so I kept on going...
I realized that I am going to have to workout alot more than I thought to really get the weight off. (there's still a little voice in the back of my head telling myself that my umm "TOM" is this week, I still have two days...ect...) But I still need to workout. And there's still that marathon in the spring. So I did some google work and had this awesome site with a great idea. It's called "COUCH TO 5K" (coolrunning.com) and it's all about getting you off the couch and getting you to run. Remember how I said I liked to have things planned out for me? Well this was great, it tells you how to start running,how long to run, when to speed up ect... The only thing was I needed to get a watch to keep track of all this. UGH. Well as luck would have it as I was searching Itunes-podcasts there as a podcast for this very program. This man decided to as try the "couch to 5k" program and made up a podcast to go along with it while you ran. He tells you what to do along with upbeat music to keep you going!!! Is this amazing or what?! There is no reason now why I can't workout and stick with it. Marathon here I come!!
Even though I am still bummed out about the weight I am still going to weight-in on Tuesday, like I should. And I am just going to stick with it. Keep going and be happy for any weight loss...that's what I get for dreaming up just how easy this was going to be. I am humbled. But not broken. And that's all that matters.

Work it out

2006-09-16T18:36:00.000-04:00

I did it. I actually worked out. For 40 whole minutes! Gee that doesn't sound very good but it's a good start. And now I feel like I can go run a whole marathon! Okay maybe not that good. But pretty damn good.

I tried to focus on doing yoga breathing while working out and strangely that hepled. I never have gotten to use my yoga breathing for anything before, but it helped to get through the hard part of the workout.

And the other life saver was my Ipod. I made a mix for the "one day" that I would start working out, yet once again. And it really helped. BUT I only had enough for 40 minutes worth. No that's not the reason that I stopped at 40 minutes, that's just the random time I picked out. Which by the way I am going to be working on. If I want to do the half-marathon I need to get working.

The crazy endorphns... man I really forgot how great it feels to workout. And I am not hungry any more. Here's a secret I knew that if I stayed in my room and just watched TV I would eat. And I couldn't do that! It's only been day 4! I can't give up yet! SO off I went. And now I am really glad I did. The day seems complete.

Still going strong!

2006-09-15T20:52:00.000-04:00

I really am very proud of myself. Yes it's only been three days, but it has been THREE whole days.

yea it's not the best thing in the world to keep track of everything I eat, but unfortunately

I was not blessed with the genes that you can eat whatever and not gain a pound. I have to work to get the body I want. And for all those times that I dragged my feet in the sand about starting it's not as hard as I thought it would be to give things up. Don't get me wrong it is hard...but I thought it would be like never getting to eat anything but salad and tuna the rest of my life.

And I am thinking differently about it this time as well. When I want to eat those chips I see myself as I am...maybe I don't need those chips. And after all carrots are free points, and frankly I love um.

Although I can tell already that I am going to get sick of my food choices. So if anyone has any ideas about things that I can pre-make and then freeze that will last 4 days in a cooler, let me know. Or any good things that don't need to be kept cold!!!

And shame, shame on me I didn't work out this week. I am SO not going to make my goal weight loss keeping this pace. Not that this is an excuse BUT...I really was tired head to toe after working today. Six flights!!! Can they even do that to us? I am going to do some yoga though...but I swear I will do cardio tomorrow. If only there was a way to force me to exercise like there is for eating. Or at least a guide or something to keep me going every day. Any ideas??

4 more days till the first weigh-in!!

Drink more Water. Work out.

EASY????

2006-09-14T21:46:00.000-04:00

Why did today seem easy? I'm only at 12 points so far. And I've still got tons more to go.

I caught myself grabbing snacks on the plane out of habit today, I guess I ate even more junk than I thought. That really opened my eyes to how I really got this big.

I had my husband take some before pictures of me in this two piece swimsuit that I've had for a while. It's the swimsuit that I wore when I thought I had an OKAY body. I knew that I had gained weight but I really had no idea how bad it looked till I saw myself in those pictures. Ehh I never had that back roll before did I? All the more reason to keep at this diet...excuse me...this new WAY OF LIFE so I can say goodbye to the back roll (among other things). I was planning on posting the pictures as another way to keep myself accountable but after looking at the pictures I just couldn't do that to you all. I want so badly to feel proud of my body. But I am a little worried. Is it really possible to loss weight eating like this? I guess I will really decide that on Tuesday. That's my next weigh-in. I know it works my sister lost 7.6 pounds remember?

My goal weight to lose the first week is 5 pounds. I think that's a good goal. After all I believe I'll be in that umm time and we all know what weird transformations happen to the body durning that. The only part is I won't be able to really work out as much as I would like this week, I've got short layovers and long days. Okay so yeah that sounds like a bunch of crap. I will tomorrow, I promise.

In the beginning...At 175lbs...

2006-09-13T12:52:00.000-04:00

Well I did it. I have signed up for Weight Watchers for better or for worse...How can I even say for worse? This is about my life, enjoying my life, being able to be 100% a part of my life.
What really caused me to finally just go for it was my sister. Funny how things turn around. A week ago I told her I was going to leave her in the dust if she didn't sign up and so she did. And I didn't (more about my fear later...). She just completed week one and she lost 7.6 pounds! Granted that's how much I want to lose (well 10 lbs.) a month and she lost that much in a week! She did it. And it was hard. But 7.6 pounds!!!! It was worth the hardship.
So here I go. And I am off to one really bad start. I had a cake dounut with coffee for breakfast. I really didn't think about it when I got it, I just ate it right up. And yes it was SOOO good. Worth 6 points?? No way.
With my job I thought the on-line version would be more helpful to me and seeing as my sister goes to all the classes I can use her to answer and questions I might come up on. I've already been pickin' at her head earlier, online just doesn't seem very clear. But I've got some down time at the hotels this weekend to read through it all and see if online really works for me.
I'm kinda scared...What if I don't lose the weight? What if I can't get what I want to look like? Or get to my goal weight? I have a real bad case of the dreaded "WHAT IF'S?". I could get lost in that world.
But...I won't...I need to pull my head up and out of that muck.
I also want to start training to run a half marathon that will be taking place this spring. Early spring in the good old ATL. Being as new as I am about such things I had to google to find out how long a half-marathon even was, 13.1 miles! I don't know if I have ever even ran 1 mile and I want to run 13.1 of them?! I must be crazy or sick. I've hiked more than that so I know I can do it, I just don't have a love for running. And frankly my chest hurts when I run. (blush...The weight gain goes straight for the boobies...) I can only admit that because you don't know me! I want to try and be a runner. My secret goal is also to do a triathon. WHOA. I do love being outdoors and while I am not Miss. Athletic, I'd like to be. I do things now and they are not easy. Hiking is not easy, Wakeboarding is not easy. But if I was fit and healthy it would be easier. And I would get better, faster, stronger!! I have to keep this mind set while I am turning down some good "BAD" food. Aka---JUNK FOOD!
Let's see how the rest of the day goes...