Living Apart

There was an article in November’s issue of SELF that I found really interesting and it’s something that I have really been thinking about.

It was called “The Joy of Living Apart”. For some couples, a little distance is the key to closeness.

It sounded like something that I would enjoy after all I am gone A LOT with my job and yet strangely enough it has brought us closer. Our situation is unique in our circle of friends and it makes me feel like the odd man sometimes. For those that don’t know being a Flight Attendant I am gone three to four nights a week, sometimes more. So I get all excited and buy the magazine before one of my flights and after snack & drink service I get my 1 liter bottle of unsweet tea and get ready to be inspired about another couples challenges. Well it wasn’t what I thought it was going to be. It’s about one couple (the author & her hubby) and the fact that they do not live together and have two kids and are madly in love. Yep I did say all that in one shot. They live in New York both have amazing apartments and their own lives. There are yin and yang, black & white, summer & fall….get it? And then when she had the boys they still didn’t move in, it all sounded really weird to me. I mean he did spend 3 to 4 nights with her and he was home every night for dinner and left when the boys were sleeping. So it’s not like he wasn’t around. It was just something SO different that what I’ve ever heard of. Why wouldn’t you want to spend every waking moment with the one you love that much? What about waking up with them in the morning? Or watching them sleep? Or the bad times even… Then I thought about it. That’s how we live, that’s how much time I have with my own hubby. And honestly I do really well with things when I am on the road vs. at home. Let’s see, I have a routine down when I am gone, down to what I eat, how I get ready, general taking care of myself, I work out (sometimes!). And one thing that really is great is that when I go out into the towns we stay at I get to explore things at my own pace and things that I enjoy. The more I thought about it the more I was just like her, I like having my own time, my own space I guess you could call it. I had to put the magazine down for a minute; this is not me is it? Then I started thinking about the future, what is going to happen when I have babies? Will I be able to stay at home? Will I be able to bring that side of me into our home? Will I want to live in separate homes? (No way!) Will I get bored? Yikes that’s a lot of ‘will I’s?’ I’m really new at all this independent stuff and I love it, but it’s finding that balance of independence and neediness because in case you don’t know when it comes to the hubby I play the needy card. I like to be babied. Ugh.
So the short end of the story is that I did relate to her, even when I thought it was something odd. I think everyone has a part of them that wants things their own way, but all people have different ways of relating that need with each other. And maybe this time away that I get will teach me to be a better person to myself with the husband and in turn it will make me a better wife and mother (again…one day). Because that is something I do really believe in, moms need something to call their own. They need “me” time in order to be the best that they could be. I guess I am just in the training wheel stages, I thought I couldn’t go a night without the love of my life, but it’s kind of nice sometimes just going to bed when I want. Hee-hee. Now I really need to slowly start applying the way I live out on trips into the way I live at home.
Who says that you can’t learn things from magazines?