Clean the slate...

Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Susie; I lost 20 pounds with Weight Watchers last fall. And then I gained back 12 pounds this summer. If you were to look in the Dictionary under yo-yo dieter, my face is the one that you would see. And my past posts would be what you would read.
But do you know what the best part about a yo-yo is? You can wrap the yo-yo back up and the put it down on the shelf. And stop the madness. It’s really that simple. And maybe just maybe this will be my time.
SO I am back, slowly and one meal, one snack, and one day at a time. And slowly the semi good days will be better and then they will great days, which will turn into weeks, and then yep months and onto years. It kills me to think about how far I had gone and I just turned around and went back to the old me. I couldn’t say NO. If I could have stuck with it I would be at my goal weight buying new winter clothes. Not wondering what I am going to wear when it gets colder.
When I was 16 I was probably slightly over weight. But I was confident in myself, and I liked who I was, even if I thought then that I needed to lose 20 pounds. What happened to that girl? When I moved I didn’t know anyone, and I was VERY lonely. And as I have learned when I get lonely I eat. And I did and I gained 25 pounds! And I became someone I didn’t know, someone that wasn’t me. I like to do new things and do crazy things. My husband lives a full life everyday and attacks everything 110% with whatever he is faced with. I was there once right along side him, now I lag behind and worry about what I look like, if I could really do it, could I hold my weight, could it hold me? These questions all go through my mind. I miss me. I’ve read from other weight lose bloggers out there about the confidence and strength that they found as they lost weight. I’m looking forward to seeing how strong I can be, and what it will take of me to get healthy for good. And everything that I will learn about myself on the way, it’s going to be a long road. It didn’t take 6 months to put on the weight on; it’s defiantly not going to be that easy to take it off. I have to re-train myself about the way that I think about me, life, food, and what really matters. It’s a self discovery road. If you ever looked out the window on a plane 30,000 ft above ground, you’d see millions of roads, trails, paths all leading to somewhere. I just have to find the one that leads me to me again.
I’m not feeling sorry for myself any more. This is the time.
Thanks for being the ear. Goodnight all.